ugh....rejection sucks....august 17, 2003
i have a boyfriend..and i got rejected. LAME! here..i'll
explain. (sry i haven't written in so long..i've found
other places that i can use for a journal, but this seems
to be the most secure)
StArLeTt110: whats up?
bsebalplaya05: nm, just got home from lunch and went
shoppin a little
StArLeTt110: fun stuff
StArLeTt110: did you talk to joey at all?
bsebalplaya05: ya, and i told him, it seems he was
interested in u until he got interesed in somebody else
StArLeTt110: ok so that explains a lot
StArLeTt110: what exactly did he say?
bsebalplaya05: well at first he was kinda jokin with me,
then i told him u were serious, and he said u were always
serious with him
StArLeTt110: yea i was
StArLeTt110: did you tell him EVERYTHING that i told you?
bsebalplaya05: most everything, everything that was
StArLeTt110: and what did he say
bsebalplaya05: well he was sry that u were sick, and that
he was thinkin about u until he got introduced to this one
chick from sacred heart
StArLeTt110: so hes w/ someone else
bsebalplaya05: no yet, but hes pretty into her, and i guess
shes into him
StArLeTt110: thanks michael
bsebalplaya05: i tried
StArLeTt110: no no i mean it thank you
bsebalplaya05: netime, im always here in case of help
i feel like my heart just got riped out of my body and
stomped on. this isn't fair. i'm not really one to talk
about what is and is not fair, i'm the one whose going
behind david's back in a way. if you'd like to call it
cheating, thats fine. but i really don't know if that would
count. yea it would..i harbor feleings for someone else
when i'm dating someone. thats cheating. but..ugh. its
joey. JOEY! we have so much history and hes my first love.
and it doesn't feel (to me) like its over yet. but i guess
now it is. it just...sucks. i can imagine how david would
feel if i told him my true feelings. this is no excuse, but
he just ALWAYS talks about how this is his first honest
relationship. blah blah BLAH. but then again theres SO many
reasons why i don't want to date anymore. mostly b/c hes
tryingt o get me to do things w/ him. like..sexual thigns.
call me the fucking virgin mary if you want but theres no
way in hell that i'm doing jack shit w/ david. hes DAVID.
david does/has done thigns w/ EVERYONE. and he talks about
caitlin a lot. not like all the time, but enough to make me
think that there is some unfinished buisness. i don't
thinkt hat he likes her. thats not what i mean. i just
think that there are issues that he needs to talk to her
about. and i just..don't want to date david anymore. and i
dont know how to go about this and have minimal after-math.
but i guess there really isnt another way. ugh..i'm gonna
go. michael (the guy i was talkin to bout joey) and i might
do soemthing soon b4 he goes back to school this coming
thursday or friday...who knows. hope david wont get
pissy..michael is just a friend