just a normal life
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2003-08-17 06:25:22 (UTC)

what a losseerrr haha

Well hey!

Today was a really weird day... my emotions are just goin
crazy or somtehing... i don't know lol! I mean it started
out really well ya know andi was happy and we met some
Spirit Walkers! that was cool and we got to just hang out
with all our friends like old times... and it just seems
like we havne't all gotten to do that in a long time where
we were just all like ourselves... i don't know it was cool

And then tonight we went to lauras for her bday and it was
cool and i was fine while i was there ya know... i mean i
wasn't like woo hoo happy or anything but i was just kinda
like...i don't know i didn't really care... and then on
the ride home just thinking about laura and curtis and how
it'd be nice to have what they have... and how right now
theres just like no one... like no one! lol I don't even
have anyone to "have my eye one" ya know to make anything

and i guess i don't know its like all these guys who think
Ju or Mandy or Kara are so pretty or so wonderful or
something and i don't know i just feel like a ... who cares... and Spence sent Ju this really
sweet email about how he thinks about her and how oh i
dont' know it was just really sweet and i like wanted to
start crying so bad cuz its like no one has ever felt that
way about me! and i just wish that someone did...
especially someone that i felt the same way about like i
know ju feels about spence...

Thatd be nice... and i don't know right now i just i don't
know i just feel soooooo blahhhh like i almost don't want
to talk to anyone cuz the guys will probly say something
about some other girl that they like or think is really
pretty or something and i don't knwo its loserish to be
jealous or to care about that... i wish i didn't... and it
doesn't always bother me but for some reason right now its
really getting to me... i'm not exactly sure why.

and this whole erik vogel thing... he's going to be
flirting with all my friends now and i dno't know i don't
care THAT much... but there's a little bit of me thats
like... why can't u just like me? even tho i know thats
stupid cuz it would never work... and i really don't want
him to play any of my friends! cuz i know what hes like
andiknow how he was with ashton... but i also know that...
well most... well some... or one of my friends anyway is
too smart to put up with that... lol but some people are
fooled by his good looks and his ... i don't know ... him!
lol and i won't put up with him playin any of my
friends... if some other chick in washington wants him...
well i'll feel sorta bad for her... but hey i went out
with him once myself and i didn't get hurt really... of
course thats cuz i got sick of him near the end anyway...
but ya know still... i dn't know whatever whewww... okay i
think i'm gonna stop now so Godbless!!

p.s. if anyone by chance reads this (which is unlikely
because i'm boring)... leave me a message or something!

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