Amnesia

dude
2003-08-13 17:53:13 (UTC)

Worried led to astral projection...

I was really worried about Teresa. I thought, this is a
time that I would really like to be there for her. So while
I was laying down after doing a little bead work, I got a
strong sense to just astral project to her. I was laying
all wrong and I was worried that the mood isn't right so
something will keep distracting me. So I cleaned up the
bead stuff, and got ready for bed. Danish was watching
saving private ryan, so I turned up my L.O.T.R. soundtrach
which didn't really help much. I got to get a meditation
cd.

I started relaxing, and I knew my astral body can leave my
body very easily. It does it all the time, but I really
wanted it to take my mind along for the ride this time. I
think I was relaxing in a little meditation for about 30
minutes. Then I tried to relax my mind to go off and join
my astral body. My body was gone though, mind wasn't with
it, I knew since every time I tried for the mind to catch
up to the body, the body just got pulled back. That was a
little uncomfortable. But nevertheless, I kept trying and
trying until I totally wore myself out. I knew that at one
point last night I did go to visit Teresa wherever she is,
and that subconciously I knew everything is okay.

But I am very upset that my mind keeps staying in my body
like that. I think I need someone's assistance. Someone to
stay by my head and relax my mind so it can chill and just
go. I might have actually acomplished this but for a really
short split second. Atleast it felt as though I opened my
eyes and maybe it was a little red all around. I don't
quite remember, like I said it was less then a split
second. I thought I had really opened my eyes, and maybe I
had so I closed them. That could have been my whole astral
travel experiance.

After that I was more tired. I'm pretty sure that I didn't
just open my eyes that it was for real. I turned and tried
to go to sleep, but it didn't exactly work. Every time I
was close to sleeping, my mind was out of it. My body was
so relaxed it was magnificent. MY mind kept rebelling on me
though. It was the only thing stopping me from getting a
good nights rest. I felt like getting up and maybe eating
something but I didn't since I didn't feel like brushing my
teeth. After 3 hours of interrupted sweaty sleep I wanted
to get up and go for a walk. It was beautiful, almost 6
a.m. I haven't been up this early in ages.

I didn't get up though. I kept to the interrupted sweaty
sleep until 9 or so. Then I just got up and here I am now.
I'll try again tonight. Besides, it would be so very cool
if I could astral project to Teresa every now and then. I
could check up on her, see how she's doing. I'd tell her
before so I don't come in on something I shouldn't see.
Maybe I'll even be able to at one time materialize myself a
little so that she could see me, and we could talk a
little. We'd meet each other like that once a week or so.
It would be grand. And even if she doesn't see me, I think
her son would sense something, or her dog. That way she'd
know I'd be there.