blueswede

who's that in the mirror?

As I type this opening paragraph, I'm listening to "I Missed
Again" by Phil Collins. It's very strange; I used to think
his stuff was pretty bad, but after I heard some of his work
with Genesis, I started looking at his stuff in a whole new
light. So right now I'd like to go on record as saying that
there is absolutely nothing wrong with Phil Collins.

Now I've put in Steely Dan's "Can't Buy a Thrill." Despite
being a huge fan, I only own two of their albums. I have to
say, though, that based on some of their singles, this album
will probably end up as one of my favorites, even following
a proper comparison to the others. The vocal variety on the
album (multiple vocalists) is really something that I think
other bands ought to explore.

Ok, no more stream-of-consciousness.

As of this morning, my weight was down 32 pounds from where
it had been in May. 32 pounds in three months, with another
eight left before I hit my goal. There has to be some sort
of marketing scheme in all this. Maybe I should whip up an
infomercial and sell my plan on late-night TV.

Of course, there are a couple of problems with my plan:

1) It requires quite a bit of time in order to work. I had
no problem, not having a job and all, but other people might
be a little put off by the 60 to 90 minutes required daily.

2) It involves cutting way back on food. The current diets
that are all the rage keep talking about eating "all of your
favorite foods." Unfortunately, that doesn't work, and this
plan specifically prohibits a number of foods. Now I should
mention that the prohibitions aren't always for fat; they're
usually for carcinogens and artificial crap.

But whether I can actually make money with this plan is, for
the most part, irrelevant, because for once in my life I can
honestly say that I'm feeling great. Even being fat still,
I'm probably in better shape than ever. It's really a great
feeling. Maybe I'll get through this winter without getting
sick and feeling like crap.

My father and I have expanded our route to about 6.4 miles,
or roughly 10 kilometers. The added distance is kicking my
ass, but I can do it, which means that I've hit my training
goal of being able to run a 10k. I guess the next step is a
15k, and after that I may as well go for a marathon.

But enough about my stupid exercising.

I've noticed an interesting trend in my journal. Since the
time I started keeping it, I've gone from a sorry attempt at
observational comedy, to griping about my life, to the even
more pathetic practice of griping about how everything sucks
and it's never going to improve. And now I've made another
transition, to just relaying information. Despite my having
actual content in recent entries, I actually have much less
to say about it.

It's hard to say what this might mean. Perhaps when my life
is actually occupied by activity, my tendency to overanalyze
things drops off. The end result is that I have less to say
about more interesting things.

I don't know, maybe a lonely fat guy writes better while fat
than after he loses a bunch of weight. Maybe I'm becoming a
different person; hard to say, really. It could be all this
exercise, or it could be other factors, such as the current
political situation.

So here are the changes I'm aware of:
- I've lost 32 pounds
- I'm stronger and more muscular than before
- I may have gotten lazier
- I've gone from a mellow liberal to an angry technocrat
- I've gotten out of practice on my guitar

And it's not clear yet, but some of my anger towards things
like the war may be spilling over into my daily life. With
any luck, I'll be able to prevent that from happening much,
if it happens at all. I don't really want to be some angry
young man, even if there's plenty to be pissed about. If I
lose the composure and control I had before, then I think my
plan can be considered a failure.

After all, the purpose was to make me a better person.

This is Dave, signing off.