Ms.Misery

Abstract Soul
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2003-08-13 04:09:21 (UTC)

What others have seen

It's so odd how true other perceptions of you are.

I mean how well do we really know ourselves. Perception is
truth. Most, if not all the time. I don't really want to
complain about how somebody said something about me and
made my world turn upside down. I can't go on blaming other
people for my flaws. I can only embrace them and correct
them as much as possible. I was sort of seeing someone and
it got to the point where I wasn't enough for him and so he
cheated. This wasn't my fault, but the way that I was with
him, was my fault. I didn't give to this person as much
love as he gave to me. His exact words were, " You don't
want boyfriends, just admirors." This person, along with
someone else that I was sort of seeing traveled upon the
same idea, that I am heartless and un-emotional. I have
emotion to me, but if I choose not to deliver them is my
own thing. Apparently, I should have. I don't know. Things
are so strange in my head. Perception is truth.
A guy, an amazing guy, once told me that I am false. I wear
a mask that only covers the underlying face of a liar and a
heartbreaker. I am beginning to beleieve this person. Not
because I have discovered it myself, but because so many
people are bringing it to my attention, that it must be
true. I know that to believe what other people think of me
is such a lame thing to do because you only know as much
about yourself as you have discovered on your own. I am
just lost. I am the most lost person, that I dont' even
know the difference between being alone and loneliness.



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