forever changing
2003-08-12 03:48:45 (UTC)

do be do be do

ahh it has been a while since i last wrote and a bit has
happened since then. well me and mike are still together
and so that makes it over three monthes that we have been
togetherit is reall yweird to think that we have been
together so long but it is really nice to know that i can
go to him for anything and he will be there. i told him
about my feelings for david and all of that and he was
really nice about it he told me that he trusts me and that
it is ok that i have these feelings because he knows i wont
act on them adn it made me feel a lil better now that i am
not trying to hide that from him but then i stil feel
guilty whenever i am around davidand that is really my own
mind becasue i will wrestle with him and cuddle with him
cause that is really what we always do and then i will have
this knot in my stomache and i will always be running
throuhg my mind what if i did cheat on mike what if this
happened would i rathere be with david adn the list goes
on but then when ever i am with him i also have to think of
mike and j-me because she is inlove with david adn mike and
i love each other so it leeves me feeling guilty like in
one foul swoop i could hurt so many and i feel like i have
to try so hard not to but really it is easy for me to
remember that i have mike and i love him but then i t is
just i dunno i am just .......... i just feel like it would
be so easy to do it that i am scared i will without
thinking and hurt everyone