Mezzo Swede

A Toast to World Domination
2003-08-11 06:03:05 (UTC)

In Case of A Water Landing

Gaby, Luis, and I, just saw “Lara Croft, Tomb Raider,
Cradle of Life”, and I enjoyed it. However, I think that
the title of the movie could be reduced by approximately
sixty-six percent. “Cradle of Life” would have sufficed.
But whatever. Angelina Jolie is now officially the coolest
person ever. If I ever expressed an opinion implying
otherwise, it should be promptly disregarded. I mean,
anyone who can use her lips as a flotation device in case
of a water landing…Ok, so maybe they are a little
overwhelming at times.

Water landing. Good transition. My buddy Brett and his
girlfriend invited Luis and myself to a comedy club. I knew
I’d be exhausted after work, but I just HAD to go out, HAD
to do something fun. And this was indeed very fun. First of
all, with Brett’s VIP passes we all became instant
celebrities. Bypassing lines is under-rated. I hope I get
to bypass lines often, in the future. Then, inside, we had
a great table, and the food was EXCELLENT. The first
comedian was mediocre, but he had a nice shirt on, so I
forgave him. The second black guy was hilarious. He made
jokes about his short wife, and advised us against wearing
red shirts when shopping at Target…and begged us to not
remember him as “the black guy”. The funny thing is, in
asking us NOT to remember him as “the black guy”…he made us
actually FORGET his name. So…the black guy was extremely
funny. And ha ha, just kidding. His name is Clinton
Jackson. I think.

Then came Kevin Pollack. He was a riot. He made the joke
about the water landing. He was implying that water
landings never really happen, so who really gives a shit
that the smelly, nasty, seat under our asses can be used as
a flotation device? He’s got an excellent point.




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