Journal rules

The Doctor is in
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2003-08-10 18:48:23 (UTC)

Fucking friends

I have never needed anybody. As a child I didnt and now I
dont. And to be honest I am fed up with certain people.
One person stands out the most. I love their company dont
get me wrong, well thats when i am blessed enough to be in
their presence. Its like I am always the last choice with
them. Its like they would rather hang out with anybody
else then me, but if nobody else is around, then ok i
shall be blessed with their presence. I have tried to
bring it up with them before but to no avail. nothing has
changed. They never call when they say they will. They
rarely come over when they say they will. Plans you make
with them are never solid. And when they do change their
mind they dont always tell you. instead you have to find
out the hard way. Why even try you say? I guess i dont
want to give up on those i care for. But care is not
enough for them i guess. All they care about is a good
time. And I am apparently not one. You know if i was to
treat them half as bad as they treat me they would hate
me. But you know nothing sticks to me. I dont care. Till
now. Im done. No more trying to make plans. I am done
wasting my time waiting for the phone call they say they
will make. I have better things to do then wait for
something that never comes. Now i should in all right say
something to this person. I mean I considered them my best
and I mean BEST friend. But thats not me. I dont want an
apology. Had enough of those. I want change. No more anger
from me. Not again will i talk about this. I try not to
complain. But i just had to bitch about this. Cause it is
bullshit.

Next on the topic list is my relationship with a girl. We
have been dating for a while now but she wont commit. I
cant figure out why but i think i get the clue. Its cause
I am not what she really wants. And the way she will hurt
me is when the person she really wants comes along it will
be goodbye to me. Eh not the first time. thats just my
theory.

The world is lonely when you see its cold hearts.


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