steph

displaying my utter contempt for myself
2003-08-08 04:37:03 (UTC)

i can t believe myself ... i am..

i can't believe myself ... i am so fucking weak. i have
violated myself .. exposed what i am supposedly against
profaned the one thing to me that is truly sacred.... the
fact that i am hiding.
constantly afraid trying to hurt the one thing that i
hate ...myself
you'd think that living is torture enough but not for
me ... constantly slipping away to indulge in my little
game of slices where blood is forever abundently flowing
and life for one moment does not send an unbarable pain
through my stomach
displaying my utter contempt for myself has turned into a
bloody brawl..
self loathing tendancies lead me to belive loneliness will
forever be in my makeup for who could love such an ugly
soul
life will never be fulfilling for i will remain unlovable
suicide is too easy, a quick escape for the torture of
others. living is the true test of strength and though i am
barely making it i am .




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