Welcome to own demise
2003-08-02 14:31:34 (UTC)

alright then

i havent written in soo long... i havent had a chance.
since im always monitored when im on the computer... it
makes it kinda of difficult to sit on here and discuss my
inner most feelings like i used to.....or need to for that

i hate that now i have no one i can talk to. i mean.... i
dunno we were talkin about that last night... i used to
tell him EVERYTHING. and now i never talk to him. i do feel
like hes slipping away from me. but i feel like he kinda
wants that to happen. last night he told me that he misses
me. and i started cryin bc i miss me too. i dont knwo whats
happened. "are you happy?" well im as ha[ppy as i can get
in my given situation.

he read "the letter" i dont even remember all thats written
in it but i know i damn sure didnt want him to read it. im
kinda glad he did tho but stll ya know.

i had a fucked up dream the other night and i woke up with
this completely heart broken feeling. i hated it. and i had
that feeling alllllll day. and i dunno i just really am not
looking foward to gettin my heaert broken and im almost
positive it will happen.

i know im not as perfect as i could be.
i know im not as beautiful to look at as i have been.
i know im not as fun to be around as i want to be.
but i know things are better than they were then.