LUI

writings
2003-08-01 01:03:14 (UTC)

three is always better than four

i fear ive fallen down a broken ladder and all i have left
to regain my altitude is a tarnished rope that carries pain
with every pull. i listen to some strange new thumping vibe
as im drug down highways in comfort thats not well
deserved. i watch as the windshield cries and sigh at heard
lines like,

"Unlike the sun that shines through a crimson sky,
I have built these walls so you can't get by,
And its alright, tonight, tonight, its alright."

still everything changes without will and weather or not
we'll be the same tommorow i can still sit on my stilts and
talk with you for hours on the surface of the sunset. i can
still meet with you on the breaths of half spilled thoughts
on paper, and the static of a missdialed phone call. i can
still hear your voice telling me "dont worry you dont got
it so bad, after all you could be me..."

but i wont,
i cant just sit around in a still somber and watch what i
could have had mock me as it waves goodbye. thats why ive
sat alone for a lifetime without the simpelest grace of a
weekend hello, or a quick joke replayed after a planned out
failure.

we could have been so many people...we could have been gods
together but life likes to make sure that we know we're not
the ones running the field.

i cant go back to where the air smells like chocolate all
the time and where the will cancels morning plans to
listen to misguided lonliness. i cant live a life replacing
anger with a million and one baseball cards. something
about sanity just seems fickle. something about humor seems
to come off so serious and i wonder if i really make sense
in a world where everythings too busy with tending to its
own needs, rather than to gather the slightest thoughts
about the proper infinity nonsense.

in one side of my head i build blocks into emaculate dreams
that crumble into a straight path to my liklyhood, and on
the other side im confused with a deck of cards that im
supossed to construct a monument with. but im more
intruiged by the cards even though i have no idea as to
what lies ahead, cause its the danger of the situation that
keeps me at the edge of the castle of bicycles.

i just wish with some kind of truth that i could properly
decide how to go about riding down this hill with no
brakes.. hoping not to collide into the chaotic dreams that
lay just to the left of the willow welcoming me into the
subtle caress of green comfort.

and then i wake up just in time for dinner. thanks again
for the colors and the brief moment. damn its just a
decade...




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