Abstract Soul
2003-07-29 07:07:56 (UTC)

Unthoughtful thoughts

I'm beginning to believe that there is one last step left
until you have hit the bottom. Before you realize that you
are going to hit the think of all those you
love or have loved and you remember them. Why is that?

Surely you will not have time to miss them when you are
lying in a puddle of your own blood and your soul has
already escaped your body. Ah, I don't know. It truelly
does not matter. It's 1:54 am in the morning and all that
is left of my withered mind are those of insane ramblings
and unthoughtful thoughts.

I don't know what's become of me. I'm sad.

Sad because someone who loves me...hurt me.
Sad because someone I care for..thinks badly of me.
Sad because someone I like just always wants a fuck from me.
and sad because someone I love...disregards me.

It's so weird how what we want in life never comes to us at
that correct time when we want it and it is only until it
is either too late or the WRONG time when an opportunity
presents itself.

I don't think my body can contain the amount of love I have
for someone. I don't even think that this person knows it.

I have hurt this person so much in the course of our
relationship, whatever it ever was, and I know now what it
is that I have done and for that....I apologize. I don't
know if he even reads this journal, but as long as it is no
longer in my body..I am released and it is now in the air.

Perhaps it is the night that has made my soul so vulnerable.
I don't know.
I am just sad.

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