2003-07-25 04:01:55 (UTC)

this probably means SOMETHING

yah, but what???
I went to the Football game today with Leanne and Mike &
Kim and some of their friends. The game sucked. We got
killed... horrible. But whatever, it was a nice night.
All day I was paranoid that I was going to run into Dan cuz
I'd been seeing red civics like his all day and I was sure
it was some sort of sign that he was going to pop up out of
So anyways it turns out I was wrong, fortunately I suppose.
Although I did manage to run into Judge at the football
game, which wasn't entirely unexpected either, cuz I know
his mom and dad have season tickets, and he uses them lots.
So yah, while Leanne and I were waiting to use the ATM they
walked by, and I waved at them and they kept walking by.
Leanne and I were all careful afterwards trying to make
sure we didn't run into them again... but then as we're
standing next to a wall waiting for the crowd of people
coming into the concourse to clear out so we could go back
to our seats, she starts giving me this really wierd,
uncomfortable look. And there they were, standing right
next to us... so we started talking, and talked for like
ten minutes. It was really wierd. Whenever we talk, we talk
lots, and it's kind of strange. We do get along quite well.
I think in retrospect dating him was probably not a good
idea cuz we could have been good friends. But, at the same
time, I probably would have liked him all along if we were
just friends. So who knows. It's wierd. I still enjoy
talking to him even though at first I'm freaked out and try
to run. So I dont know. THe timing of it is definitely
wierd seeing as though Steve will be home from France
tomorrow at this time. Does this mean something? Am I
supposed to learn something? Is it just a coincidence? well
obviously it's pretty random, but SHOULD I still take
something away from it?? I don't know. It's all so wierd. I
have no idea what I should do. I don't like this. I'm never
going to KNOW what I should do. I have to just do something
one way or the other, and see what happens. But I REALLY
REALLY don't like that idea. I want structure. A REASON for
what I'm doing. Some kind of REASSURANCE that it's the
right thing to do.
Yikes. This guy thing sucks.