Me and More
Ad 2:
2003-07-24 07:51:40 (UTC)

Heart broken....

Dear Diary,

Things seem to be getting harder and harder as each day
passes. I can't stop these intense emotions flowing
throughout my body, mind, and spirit. I want to tell him
over and over again how much I love him. I want to just
grab him and kiss him, with everything I have. I dream over
and over of being with him, making love to him, just
holding him in my arms as he drifts into sleep.

Why can't he be with me? Why does this have to be this way?
Why does this have to be so fucking hard? My heart beats
for him. My heart yearns for him. Oh, how I long to hear
those precious three little words, to listen as they softly
escape his lips, "I love you." *sighs*

Can't he see what he has right in front of him? Can't he
see how much better I would be for him? No, no one ever
does. Then they come crawling back after I've fallen outta
love with them, or involved with someone. Why can't anyone
ever just love me as I love them? I hate being alone. I
hate having this broken heart every single day. I hate that
he leaves to be with her instead of me. I hate it.

I'm trying so hard to be strong, to hold on and be there
for him. But it's so difficult. I found out that their song
is a song I pick a while ago to show him how much I loved
him. One of the couple that truly portray my feelings. It's
Calling You by Blue October. That crushed my heart. That's
my song to him, not their song.

I have so much love to give to him. I have so much more to
offer. She, in my eyes has barely anything. Ugh! I hate
this so much. I hate it. *crys* She's going to hurt him, I
can feel it. I've felt it for the longest time. I don't
want to see him hurt. It would break my heart and piss me
off royally. I don't know anymore. I just don't know. I
guess I deserve a life of loneliness. I guess I'm that bad
of a person. *hangs head and crys* I should just accept it.