Alone I Will Always Be

Lonley
2003-07-23 21:14:52 (UTC)

What a Day What a Day

So this weekend was pretty much the same as the rest.....
sleep and then wake up and do nothing... mondya we went to
six flags... and i think im starting to like billy....
EEKK i saw michael that night.... he waved at me.... but
not how he usually does... more like i want you wave... he
wanted to stay i could see it in his eyes...but i was
tired and paul wasnt home.... but oh well... so josh has
started this webpage thing... its cool and all but i
dunno.... i have this really bad headach and i want a D Q
blizzard b/c of those damn commercials.... so hopefully
shandi willl come over and take us to get some.... i have
been feeling really bad this past few days i dunno
though.... i dont know why.... i watched final destination
2 last night and josh is watching it now... its great.....
not as good as i hoped it would be... but anyways.... i am
starting to see who i want to be.... and i am making
myself change... for the better... and if people dont like
me then fine... i mean as long as i like me right?
everyone down here loves me and if my friends in Illinois
dont start to show that they like me i am gonna convince
my mom to move down here... that sounds really bad but i
feel like with me gone everyone is having the best
time.... well fine let them be happy with out me.... i had
the best time i have had in a long time down here.....
everytime i think abotu going back home i get this really
bad headach.... i need to see a doctor.... i am
depressed... big time.... i watched this paid programing
thing the other night about dealing with anxiety and
depression and i mean i didnt think i was all that bad...
but when i watched that some of the people.... i had there
syptoms..... i mean there are night when im afraid to go
to sleep.... and the other nights i am fine.... but
yea.... im gonna go... b/c im gonan watch final
destination....


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