*MaNMaDeOFaSHes-

My Perfect Waste of Time
2003-07-23 06:46:47 (UTC)

faded efforts in my jean pocket

reaching far into my minds own darkness looking for a way out
a key to unlock the door that keeps my head filled with doubt
about what is coming and what has gone and what is becoming
and what never was. What I am talking about is abandoned
love. Time lost. Coming undone and letting your mind rott.
There is something else you want. What it is is not a
necessity but a simply need you have trouble controlling.
and your eyes are still rolling at me. You cant admit the
truths I see and show to you in your dirty mirror that has
tried to hard to make you look good and blind you from the
ones that are all misunderstood and lost in your minds
darkness. You hardly notice their existance. Externalized
by society is there any way I can be forgiven? There is no
chance for my friends in this place of stuggle and
superficial faith we are living in and love and hate and
whatever it is has always been a matter of convienence. And
for a moment I gave in too. And for a moment I thought I
knew the falsities of mankind. Thinking in my own mind that
this world of our is actually blind and there is no need for
sunlight because are heads all point to the ground and
whatever it is we are looking for we are convinced we will
find looking down. So we continue on our way with frowns on
are face and the illusion that we have a place so we keep
moving keep trying with the dillusions that we are fighting.
And so we fight to the death with whatever still has a
breath left in their punctured and dying breast and then the
lungs fill up with fluids and the the protest finally ends
and so we tried our best and dont try again because whats
convienent has always been to give in and although we can be
humoring we dont give a shit we simply follow to avoid
resistance. And the resistance is thought, of thinking to
much and so we follow along with whatever crowd best defines
us and we pretend that we stand for something as we go home
to feel the emptieness of another day wasted that could have
been used to create something I havent always hated. the
efforts have all faded.




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