Peaches

Ode to a psycho!HA!
2003-07-21 20:45:44 (UTC)

I'm ok

I say I'm ok, because I have to keep telling myself that I
am ok, and maybe after reassuring myself so many times that
I really am ok, then I actually will be ok. ok? I'm ok. I'm
ok. I'm fine, I'm alright. I am. I can'tt promise, because I
can't promise something I don't know. but I Am ok. Even
though I'm not sure I know I'm ok, I'm ok. alright? is that
enough for you? that I can look at you and tell you that I
am honestly ok? because I am. i don't say something unless I
mean it in one form or another. I'm ok. I wish that I could
look at you and promise you that I'm ok. but I can't, I
can't. I can't promise you that beacuse I don't knnow, and
how can you promise something I don't know? i don't know.
I'm ok. You know, I don't think you believe me that I'm ok.
but that's ok. because how can I expect you to believe me
when I don't believe myself. that I'm ok. I'm ok, ok? I wish
i could tell you why, I am the way I am, and why I have to
believe that I am ok, instead of being ok. but I can't, ok?
I can't. because I'm not even sure what being ok means, and
I don't know why I'm not ok. I can't even explain it to
myself. If I could I would. I would and then I'd explain it
to you and then I could be ok, and you'd be ok, because I
was ok, and we'd all be ok. but I can't, and I'm sorry, but
I'm not ok. I'm really not ok. ok?




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