ErykahKayne

My Daily Bread
2003-07-19 20:02:27 (UTC)

so sad

well diary we ain't talked in a minute. i been so busy. so
let me try to fill u in on the haps. well first of all..me
and james had a tragic break up. he told me he hates me and
not to call him anymore. i wrote him a letter and called
once since then. this was like 3 weeks ago. so i think i'm
doing good. i should be calling every day. i miss him but
i'm trying to let it go if that's the way he wants it.
that's my baby i love him so much. i should know nothing
good lasts too long though. i wonder how/what he's doing.
ya'll he really hates me now. i never heard talk to me like
that or say that shit that he said to me before. and then i
gave him a couple days thinkin it would be call and he
still cussed me out. ain't that some shit? it must really
be over. we'll see. maybe he'll surprise me and write me
bacc or call one day. 20 yrs from now i would still marry
him. anyway, next subject...i been stayin down at my
people's house in my daddy's hometown for the past few
weeks. i just come home to get clothes and then i'm out
again. i recently started smoking cigarettes too. ewww so
gross. i always hated them but i smoked my first one 2 days
ago and i been doin it since. but i'm not going to buy any.
i refuse to. i been so stressed out and shit. that's why i
think i started smoking. and i been smokin so much weed
lately it's ridiculous. more than i ever smoked while i was
in ny. it's like..crazy. but i ain't never quittin that, so
it doesn't really matter. it just takes more to get me high
now,that's all. um, my friend Chad from my childhood days
is locced up now. he spent the weekend with me last week
and when he came home the police was lookin for him. i
don't know how long he'll be gone. he was on probation
already. oh well. i remember when we were little and i
used to live here before, he was so in love with me. but
that was like 7 yrs ago and now we're both grown. it's
weird coming bacc after all this time. everybody's grown
and shit..my cousin Darrell drinkin and smokin weed
now..goin to clubs and shit..my other cousin is a dope boy.
i mean, shit is crazy. all the ones i grew up chasin in the
yard is grown now and it's like i juss saw them yesterday.
it's all good though. it's fun kiccin it wit them. well i
guess that's all that's been goin on. oh yeah, i quit my
job. ok now i'm done. i'll holla. i still love you baby.
hope you're doing good.




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