My Party Life
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2003-07-19 04:46:52 (UTC)

Hassan :(

I did the most stupidest thing b/c I sort of tested him to
see if he was cheating and he found out and now he's mad at
me and blocked me off his aim sn. I feel so bad now b/c I
know how much I miss him and I wish he can just talk to me
and understand why I did what I did. He hurt me so much
when I found out he was cheating and I knew I couldnt trust
him. But now I think I've fallen in love with that boy b/c
he's so MEAN and SEXY. I never in my life told somebody
I'm sorry. Those words NEVER came outta my mouth and now I
say them everyday to him which he ignores. The pain I feel
in my heart is hurting me now, just like the day I found
out he kept going on with "Laura". I miss Hassan so much
and I wish he could just talk to me about stuff we never
talked about before like why I did what I did and how I
really feel about him. And when he told me it was over...I
felt like breaking down and crying but....I tried to play
it off like I was cool or something and now I regret that
b/c I miss him so much. If he was reading this right now I
wish he could just at least talk to me.... I'm like a fish
with no water b/c now I found I can barely breathe without
him. I tried hard not to let myself get too obsessed over
him but when your dealin with Hassan that's hard. He like
has a certain power over me or something.....oh goodness I
think he's got me whipped :'( Its kinda crazy because we
never really were just seems like we were but
I guess he felt differently and I was another "internet
girl" he talked to.