Asmodeus

No time for love Dr. Jones
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2003-07-18 02:22:43 (UTC)

Then she squeezes tighter, I still lie to get a smile

I went and saw T3 with Aaron last night. The movie was
brill, I'm not quite sure if I enjoyed it so much because I
was expecting it to be shite, or if was just THAT good.

But I'm not writing about the movie here. Being a Thursday
night, on the way out of the theatre the nightclubs in the
shopping complex were open, and boy were they chockers. Hot
young girlies lining up as far as the eye could see. As I
was walking past all these young girlies, I suddenly had
the urge to be single again, which by the time I got home
had me thinking.

What exactly am I doing with my life? I'm happy with
Belinda at the moment (or at least I tell myself I am) and
I've got a pretty sweet job (I get to bludge and surf the
net all the live long day, as evident by the recent
increase in diary entries), and I’m nice and close to all
my family again.

So what’s missing? In a word, friends. I’m only just
realising how truly alone I am. I have Belinda, and she’s
great. We have huge amounts of fun, we laugh and get along
great, but we have no common interests. I need someone I
can talk to about music and cars and movies that don’t
involve musical numbers. The only person I could put into
this sort of role at the moment would be Aaron, and still
don’t even see him very often.

This brings about a fairly interesting question, if I had
friends to hang out with would I be less distractions
thinking of other girls? Am I really happy with Belinda, or
have I just found someone I can tolerate while I wait
for ‘The One’ to come along? Am I actually waiting for ‘The
One’, or have I made my bed with Belinda and secured myself
to her? If ‘The One’ did actually come along, would I
realise it? Would I even leave Belinda for her, keeping in
mind how long it took me to tell Carolyn that I’d decided
to Darwin? My head hurts.

While I was lying in bed last night, thinking about all
this (and getting fairly depressed about it I might add), I
came to the realisation that it’s been a while since I’ve
had a fairly close friend. I don’t think I’ve let any
friends close to me since Romper. I still had friends, and
I still hung out, had fun and stuff, but I didn’t rely on
them like I did with Romper. Probably the best friend I’ve
had since Romper would be Rob, and while we were close, I
still held him off.

There’s no conclusion to this entry, I just needed to write
this stuff down while it was still fresh. I may come back
to this train of thought one day. One day…


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