forever changing
2003-07-17 16:42:39 (UTC)

my dear david

mike is gone. wel for a week or so. he went to la and all
that fun stuff. he left yesterday :( but he called me this
morning at nine! that would be the only reason i am awake
this early. but oh well at least i know he was thinking of
yesterday i went up to town to see him before he left and
he was supposed to go somewhere and be home around 12 but i
was up in town at 12:15 and he wasn't home then i went into
town then i drove to the clinic, which is closed this
week, then i came back and he still wasn't there so i came
back to penn valley and went over to my grandma's house and
we talked for about two hours, it was really nice to talk
to her, we talked a lot about grandpa and she is holding up
really well but she misses him a lot, she even told me
right out that she did and it is not like her to tell
people how she feels.
well after i got home i was really bored so i called ashley
adn we talked for about and hour then she started trying to
get me to go to the lake and i really didn't feel like it
and she had to go there anyways so i gat off the phone with
her then i called david. we talked for probably at least
two hours. i told him about my confusion and how i was
jelous and i don't know why because i am happy with mike
but it doesn't make sence. and i canfused him because he
thought that i just liked him as a friend but that had only
lasted about a month and a half ... untill da's party
thing. we were talking and because of his thing he dose
where he only lets people know he likes them when they are
with someone else we decided that he is subconciously
trying to stay safe because if the girl is with someone he
doesn't have to worry about getting involved and therefore
he cannot get hurt and he cannot hurt her. and then i asked
him what he would do if i wasn't goin out with mike and he
said he didn't know then asked me the same and i thought
about it and i told him that would eithere ask him out or
at least try to figure out if he was interested and we just
had a really long conversation that incorperated all of
that with grass demons and why i don't beleive in god or go
to church and other little things that came to mind.