2003-07-17 03:11:18 (UTC)


Last Thursday I told Tony that I would call him "a few
hours later". It is now Wednesday and I never called, nor
did he call me again.
Thus I escaped a tempting situation that would've in all
likelihood been detrimental to me. My virginity remains

I've had some adventures I never wrote about.
A couple weeks ago I took a bus to San Francisco to find
that the route had been cut short because of the Gay Pride
Parade. I didn't even know it was happening that day (June
30th). My bus stopped right on the fringe, and I walked
around through the celebration for a few hours. People
there were marvelously and outrageously adorned and a few
men were completely naked. I remember thinking that the
atmosphere was a hell of a lot less perverse and invasive
than that of the mall where girls are eyed like part of the
merchandise. This felt like a safe, tremendously open-
minded and accepting crowd. I saw some drag queens perform
a Nirvana song from an enormous platform. Then I found a
strange grassy grove off of Market Street where there was a
mellow acoustic band and hippies dancing (one painted blue,
one wearing a dress, one displaying his penis.
Later, I took a bus to Haight street where a man gave me
beads and I got a black lace skirt. It was beautiful there.
I went back downtown and spent an obscene amount of time
franticly searching for the right bus stop to get home. I
walked with intensity and speed, my black boots slashing
the air, as though on an urgent mission no matter how lost
and confused I was. I sped through the voices and comments
of everyone,my eyes fixated straight ahead, a drag queen
cheering for me "Yeah, girlfriend! Look Alive!", a sleazy
man asking if I was heterosexual or bi, and of course "Hey
girl! Spair any change!? Hey!". The buses were
on a strange route still. I randomly asked a girl for
directions only to recongnize her as someone I'd seen at
peace demonstrations in Santa Rosa. She sent me to Turk and
instructed two Mexican couples who didn't speak English to
follow me, as they were looking for the same bus. Somehow
another foreign man caught on to us and also needed my
help. At sunset I was speeding through the city all the way
from Market to Van Ness with a posse of foreigners
depending on me. I wouldn't have wanted to be alone under a
dark sky in that city. We found the bus stop after much
softcore panic.

Also, this weekend Diana and I painted a utility box with a
beautiful scene of nature. We had to clean it off when the
cops came. Then we got high on nutmeg and distorted our
perceptions of time and space. Diana didn't believe
she was in reality. I felt paranoid. I'm never doing that