Cold chillin

Bernie Calderon
2003-07-14 08:06:12 (UTC)

end of the road

Mood: insomniac
song of the moment: Alone by Joe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not feeling that bad today, despite having an odd
confrontation yesterday. I suppose I was just in one of
those moods where despair overrides common sense. When I'm
in one of those states, every action, every emotion, every
feeling intensifies. I know that my life is great. I look
at those less fortunate than me and this quiet indignation
arises within the pit of stomach questioning what rights I
have to feel the way I do. I am exceptionally fortunate to
be the son of two very loving parents. And I am
exceptionally fortunate that I've never, once in my life,
been wanting of food or clothing or shelter. We are so
spoiled, spoiled by the desire to possess the accroutements
of society. I don't need ten pairs of black pants or 7
purple sweaters. But I, don't know how to not want things.
I'm not selfless enough to sacrifice what makes me
comfortable. And at the same time, I do feel pangs of guilt
for wanting the things that I want, when I see so much
despair and poverty around me. I need to stop living my
life and measuring against others'. I need to just live my
life

bERNIe




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