Silent Eyes

Lost in this place
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2003-07-10 10:10:11 (UTC)

Well diary... Things have been..

Well diary...

Things have been going GREAT...for a long time I had a lot
of hate anger and confusion as well as love and missing and
wanting of Paul...I just recently returned from a vacation
to Chicago. It was EXCELLENT!!! I spent a month away and
had so much time to relax sort through and think about
things... I really do love him so very much...but I also am
terrified to ever be hurt as bad as when we were so hurt by
each other, yet for some reason we made it through. Upon my
return he called me!!! The day I got home and the time that
I answered around 10 or so he came over he wanted to see ME
to talk to ME to be with ME!!! How special was this. VERY
but I needed to lock my emotions away because the fear of
losing him again would be so miserable. So hear I am
sitting with him staring into his eyes tearing up just
knowing how much I love him and how crazy I am for him...so
I open up and my emotions are spilling and my heart is
crying for him, however we need NEED NEED to be happy with
each other and be everything to each other and demonstrate
our love for each other. I want him to see me as
everything he wants and I want us to connect like nobody
else and be perfect for each other and nobody else and love
each other like no other person could! I want him to see
my love and show me his back. I want us to be honest and
loveing, not hurtful and jealous. I want him....I Love him


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