xJaYdEnx

XNo_StaRLeTTe_x
2003-07-10 05:20:17 (UTC)

~**~OnCe AgAiN~**~

wow...i have 4 days till i'm 16...y can't it be 18..i feel
like a lil chap...i hate that i'm so young...it hasn't been
till lately that i feel weird around my friends b/c they're
all older then me by atleast 5 or 6 years...or 7....and
like i dunno its just getting to me now that i don't fit in
with them..like it makes me feel like they are babysitting
me or something..it starting to get really odd...like when
i'm with matt,potty, and daniel i guess it when it gets the
most weird..like i dunno they just make me feel baby-
ish....but anyway..enough about teenage paranoia....me and
evin are wonderful...i love my baby...we'll be celebrating
one year next month and i can't wait....me and matt are
fine i suppose....still feel a lil weird around him
sometimes...but i guess thats normal for me right?....i
still wish that we could be like we used to...but i'm
slowly adjusting to the way we are now...i think that i'm
slowly getting over him...again...and i'm sure that at some
point in the near future i'll be totally infactuated once
again...OH GOD WHEN WILL THIS CYCLE END!!!!...sorry..i just
get sick of thinking about how much i think about
matt...its annoying....i mean hes not my b/f hes never
been.. never will be..and i never wanted him to be...but
for some reason...he just had this weird effect on me and
hes like my main thought at all times...and thats not fair
to me...but i guess i'll just have to force myself into
thinking about other things...its really hard
though......i've tried...but maybe i need to try
harder...oh well...matts just an everyday issue with me
when all he needs to be to me is a friend...here lately hes
been more of a friend than i have...gezzuz i'ma
freak...anyway..practice is going ok..i still suck...but
they never say anything...so i guess thats
kewl.....hopefully i'll be able to do it ..without flaw...
(won't happen)....but anyway..i need sleep...
EVIN I LOVE U
now more than ever..
DjinnGuRl
www.djinnband.com




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