psykobich

heaven's tearz
2003-07-09 04:05:22 (UTC)

[ separated ]

there is some much you can say before you cant say
anything at all. i have come to the idea that i can not
ask anyone to change for me but instead live with what i
have. sometimes i have realized that what i have is not
enough and maybe i need more. who is anyone to say what i
have is all that i should accept? why should i accept only
a fraction of life's happiness? am i not entitle to more
than that?
so i look at this man i suppose to have loved.. and i see
a man i dont love anymore.. more like i pity him.. i pity
him because he has nobody and also coz he has nothing. i
am not being materialistic.. i just find it tiring to keep
lendin him a hand and for it to just seem like im
supportin him and he is not even trying to do his part of
the matter...
then i come to this other guy who has a girlfriend.. why
do i bother puttin myself in such perdiciments that can
only hurt my chances of freeing my mind from such insanity
and living my life more colorful. am i my own madness?
sometimes i think i am.. what other answer can i give?
i think about this guy .. my ex.. danny..[thumper]..
sometimes.. dis guy who dont even think about me!! how do
i kno this.. because here is he.. with a girlfriend..doin
his thing..livin his life and me..im still in this state
where he matters... i must be crazy or i must be asking
for a long heart ache..which i have already received from
him...
i need closure from him.. serious closure but i feel like
i will never reach that level..ever.. am at the end.. i
feel like i am the only one that lost...