Welcome to own demise
2003-07-07 00:28:36 (UTC)

emotional diarrea

i dont know why i feel like this right now.

i feel like i could cry at any given moment and i have no
reason to.

ive been feelin like that alot lately. i meani feel like
that a lot anyways but i thought that would go away. i used
to be sad about albert a lot. bc i didnt have him and
figured i never would, and just everythihng sucked about
the whole situation and it would make me just break down
and cry sometimes. i thought that if i were to ever
actually be with him i wouldnt get these sudden mysterious
fits of emotional diarrea. i just dont get it. lately
albert and i have been talkinga bout things that i dunno
are really gettin to me. even tho i dont know if they
should or what ya know. what gets to me is that albert
actually honestly believes that in a given situation, i
would get with dave. i understand that they have history of
being bogus to each others when it comes to girls, but
still... when i met albert, i met dave. and for whatever
reason, whether it be bc he figured one day id give him
ass, we became friends (me and dave) and yea, hes been
talkin shit about albert from the get go, but alberts been
talkin shit bout dave too. true, albert and i inda had
soemthing going on the whole time, and dave and i didnt,
but to be fair, its not like albert let ANYBODY know that
he had feelings for me that went farther than just some
ass. i dont see how albert expects dave to just completely
stop actng the way he has been all along with me just bc
now albert and i are goin out. i kinda understand how
albert feels though, bc deep down, one of my biggest fears
when it comes to our relationship is that hell get mad at
me and go and fucked around with rebecca. Despite what hes
told me about how shes nothing to be jealous of, i still am
a little bit. shes gorgeous, and can get whatever she wants
just bc of how she looks, and it pisses me off. my mom just
came home so im gonna get off the computer. i have more to
write tho, believe that. laters