munkyweasel

Radical Belligerence
2003-07-05 05:19:05 (UTC)

Stupid White Kidz

Yeah hey this morning I went to Lila's party. There was
Lila, Trish, Kim, Trish's boyfriend Brandon who makes fun
of her but all in good fun, Mike "Goopy," this girl
Brittany, and a couple people came later, Lynn, Dan-Dan,
Brittany's sis Jessica, umm...

Anyways. I don't like Lila anymore. She lied to me. She
said she would make out with me, and all that shit, and it
was all lies. And she is mean and whenever I say something
that I think may be relevant to the conversation (it
usually isn't tho, I will elaborate a bit later,) she just
says "So what's your point?" or some crap. And she... well
read on.

K so we were all just sitting around... so the dog comes
up, right? And I am scared for my fucking life around their
dogs, I am for real, those dogs are out to kill me. So she
was being all nice letting people pet her, so she came up
to me, I let her sniff me... and then she left and then I
let her do it again, and I tried to pet her... and that
fucker growled, barked, and snapped at me! Bitch! Oh
wait... that pun actually wasn't intended, I swear.

So then we went out to play some kickball eh? Then we went
back in, we were supposed to go swimming but we never
did... I didn't bring anything to swim in, so Mike let me
borrow some of his trunks. So then like Lila right? We
egged her and got her with shaving cream, it was hilarious.
She was like "I hate you Nick!" But they were like "He
didn't want to do it, we made him." Then she got me back by
getting Gold Bond (yeah Gold Bong) powder all over me. It
smelled a lot. Then after like an hour of just sitting
there and playing pictionary, Trisha decided to go out, and
she of course was the reason no one had gone out before. So
we all went to the pool. Yeah then... no luck copping
feels, and I think it was here... yeah it was either here
or in her room later that she told me she doesn't like me
like me. What the hell, I can't believe I thought that... I
hope I saved the IM convo. But it seems as though she
doesn't even like me as a friend. So basically we just had
fun in the pool...

Went to lunch, talked. I contributed to the conversation
but, every time I said something I felt embarassed or like
what I said wasn't important and I shouldn't have opened my
mouth, yet I kept on doing it. Talked about a lot of
things. I forgot to mention earlier, Brittany is from
Texas, and it is like... it shows. And they say a lot of
things differently. Just like those Michiganders. It seems
like the only people who talk normal are Jersey kidz and
Cali kidz. Even though I hate them both just cuz they are
from those states. Go home Jersey kid! Hehe, just playing.

Mike, Trish & Brandon, and I went back to the pool. Kim and
Lynn came presently. So I was feeling down cuz my life is a
wasteland, I hugged Kim and felt like a total... I don't
know, creep. So I got out of the water and like... went to
go inside... that white dog was there. Let's put it this
way, the fucking white dog hates me the most. She was just
there with her tail wagging... and instead of loosening up
and taking a risk and walking past her, I just stood
there... and all of a sudden she went into an attacking
stance and bared her teeth and growled and I was like "HOLY
DIVER!!!!" And I ran and jumped into the pool, it was
fuggin crazy. Damn dogs. Both of them were there chasing
me.

So then, after some hanging out... drying out... okay hold
on, I am skipping stuff. I hung out and dried out, and Lila
went with Brandon and Goopy to go to their houses or some
crap. I went inside and got dressed (the bathroom floor was
wet before I went in, I swear!,) fuckin Trish and Kim were
in Trish and Lila's room for like... 10 mins after I was
dressed, and I was just hanging out in the hallway. So
Becky (trish and lila's mom sorry) told me to go sit down.
They were done in another 10 mins, and like... Lynn and
Lila and all them were home about 1 minute later. So it
might have been here that Lila told me she didn't like me,
I don't remember. Basically, I established a beautiful
relationship with Kim and realized she is just a friend,
and a really really really good friend at that. And then I
was depressed, and that Brittany chick didn't even notice.
But fuck it. A lot more talking, about hot ex-boyfriends
and friends that Lila has. No one has ever said those
things about me that she said about those guys. Well, they
have but... I mean, people get over me. There were pictures
of her making out with Jamez and shit... god damn. I wish I
was allowed by my dad to make out with my gf. Or something.
He knows but he wouldn't fucking tell me to kiss a girl for
a photo, which is what Becky did for a couple of their
photos. And he probably wouldn't feel comfortable with a
girl lying on top of me, even if we were fully clothed.

Then I think we went outside and talked, more of the dumb
shit I did before with the conversation contributions that
I instantly regretted. Lila dissed all the girls I have
gone out with. Except, of course, herself. Hmm, I wonder...
if I have bad judgement in women, does that mean that my
second-ever girlfriend was any better than any of the other
ones? This was one of the breaking points. Lila just
totally pissed me off. So did that Brittany chick, she
hates me I swear. Well she didn't do anything, she just
doesn't like me.

Finally after like an hour of that, we went for a walk
around the neighborhood. I walked alone. I tried to cry,
and I was pretty close... but it failed. It fails. Then I
was close to getting the first wave again (there are like 3
waves and on the 3rd I think the tear comes out or
something, but I haven't reached that in a long time, at
least not forced,) and then a car with big bright
headlights came and destroyed my concentration. Anyways...
then I talked to Lynn and Brittany (actually just Lynn) and
I forget what I said. Then we went to Lynn's house to set
off fireworks. Same convo situation as before. Talked about
school and stuff. Lila talks to Susie Sweetcheeks, that is
fucked. Well not really. Something happened umm... I forget
what.

Back at Lila's house, I had the best hour and a half of the
night. I sat next to Kim, she was on the comp and I was
just... sitting next to her, not feeling love... just
companionship. Then I just like... watched the Osbournes,
all rerun special just like every night. But it was just
like...

You know what? Now that I am away from the pheromones and I
am straight, I don't much care for Brittany. And I needn't
hold onto an obsession with Kim. Or worry about touching
Trisha and getting beaten by Brandon.

Thought my dad came cuz... I heard a sound and the dogs
started barking. False alarm. Some kid came to Lila's
house, we weren't allowed out to talk to him cuz it was
like midnight or 11 or something. Then another false alarm,
then he finally came. So I got 3 hugs free from Lila. But
that kind of let me down... the only way I get to hug Lila
is if I am not gonna see her for another 9 months? She must
think I am pretty umm... well hey, at least she hugged me.

I know I am forgetting a lot of stuff here, none of it is
important, it was the journey to get where I am typing this
now, and I know what lessons I learned and if I forgot some
details in the story, then fuck it.




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