Sherry

.... on Living and Loving
2003-07-03 21:14:13 (UTC)

Let me be.

I did it. Don't congratulate me... I feel like a failure.
I told him not to innitate contact with me... to let me be.
I know it isn't going to help.. it's only been 15 minutes
and I already feel like I've lost something wonderful, a
friendship.
He let me know that he will always be there for me should I
need anything... but soon we won't be more than a memory to
eachother. We won't know eachother anymore.
I don't like my past friends much... well, the ones I don't
know well....I dread the accidental meeting at the grocery
store and the lighthearted conversation they try to
maintain. They don't know me.... and I don't know them.
Mike is going to become one of them...a stranger.
I have always dreaded that... I've been afraid the day
would come that I would have to tell him it's over,
everything. I have feared the day that I would lose my
best friend. That day was today. It's over. I'm over.
I need to figure out some things.. I'm not even sure what
they are. I know I will not be better off. Having
him absent from my life will not make me better.
I won't love him any less.
He is the one thing that makes me smile. He is one of few
people that I love.
He is so damn much like me it's scarey.
I don't know how I will survive now. I was hardly surviving
before.
I failed to keep my promise to always be a friend. I suck.




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