Caroline

The Life and Times of Caroline
2003-07-02 22:24:42 (UTC)

The Letter

This is a letter I recieved from my friend Jessica
concering the issues stated in journal entry "The Path To
Myself".

Caroline,
Hey, what's going on? Well, I'm not sure what to
think is going on here. So, I guess I will be doing the
explaining. I've heard a lot of what's been happening
with you and lacey. I'm very dissapointed in you two.
I'm going to have to get this letter out to you somehow.
But it's not easy knowing the fact that I lost my two best
friends. I guess I know half the reason why you don't
attend our church anymore.
I haven;t gotten up the courage to call you or Lacey
and ask WHY, just why wdid y'all do this to yourselves, me
and especially God. I'm sorry but y'all arent the best
friends I thought you two were. I looked up to you
Caroline, just for the fact that you had a strong faith in
God. But now that I have heard you’ve had sex with two
guys, that’s not the kind of person I used to know. But I
guess I was wrong. Some people can put acts on for the
faith of God, and it seems to me that is exactly what you
and Lacey have done. I can’t believe y’all.
Lacey told me that as a friend, she looks up to me.
I like to hear those words, but from a little kid maybe.
Not from someone my own age. Those words hurt. She said
it’s just because she has sinned and I’m the only one with
my life straight. And if y’all both say your life isn’t
straight, I see why.
Lacey told me everything the night we got to
Arkansas. I was having so much fun until she told me. It
made me sick. I had to lock myself in the bathroom and
throwup. It was that bad. I can’t believe the things she
told me. And for the other fact that what you did was
before youth rally. You didn’t call me and tell me you
wanted to talk, that really hurt me Caroline. I thought
you and lacey were my true friends. But I was wrong.
True friends don’t betray their friends. I don’t think
anyone’s ever put me down as much as you and Lacey have in
my whole life.
Now about forgivness. I’m going to forgive you and
Lacey. But not at the moment. I probably won’t even
think about forgiving you and her for a while. Just for
the fact that you two screwed up your lives. In God’s
eyes, no matter what someone has done, it will take a lot
of time, but He always wants us to forgive. So am I.
Eventually.
Lacey told me not to tell my mom because she didn’t
want her to look at her differently. She knows I tell her
everything. Plus, if you both didn’t do what you did,
then no one would have had to look at y’all differently.
Duh. What the Heck? Who wouldn’t see someone
differently? They sinned big time. You can’t have your
virginity back. AT ALL. But there is such a thing as
second virginity. It’s for those who have a sexual past,
but they want to commit to sexual purity from this day
until they are married. Secondary virginity is a word for
thos who have recommitted to abstinence in their lives.
Although some people reject this, the Lord’s restoration
is very real, and although those memories of your sexual
past may not be erased, you can experience healing and
renewal if you commit your way to the Lord and allow Him
to be the center of your life. It’s never to late. But
this doesn’t mean you can commit to secondary virginity
and then have sex all over again and the re-commit.
That’s just wrong.
Another thing. I can’t believe Lacey said I didn’t
call her that much and she felt alone. What in the world
was she trying to make me think? Think that her losing
her virginity to Andrew was part of my fault because I
didn’t call her that much and she felt alone? I don’t
think so. She seriously has lost it if that;s what she
thinks. But every time I did call her, she was grounded
so I didn’t call her that much. I mean, she has a phone
too. She could have called me when she was off
restriction.
Mr. Jimmy, Mrs. Debbie, Dave, and Sue and half of the
youth group know about you and Lacey. They have a right
to know. You both took an oath before God, but you also
broke it. I thought y’all were smarter than that. I
thought that you knew that sex and love are two totally
different things. So, for the fact of what y’all have
done we are strating True Love Waits again on Wednesday
July 2nd.
It is God’s will that you should be sanctified; in
other words, you should avoid sexual immorality. You both
should have controlled your body in a way that is holy and
honorable to God.
You know, I called you a lot. But the people you
lived with never gave you the message I called. So, I
called your cell but you didn’t answer or you had no
minutes. I wanted to talk to you a lot and ask you if
you wanted to do something with me, but you were to busy.
In Arkansas Jane and I were talking. She wasn’t as
surprised about you as she was Lacey. You threw yourself
at guys she said. I mean when enough is enough, it’s
enough. Where the heck was God you two committed these
sins? I’ve sinned in my past, but it was nothing compared
to what y’all have done: losing your virginity to someone
you’re probably not even going to stay with. Shouldn’t
have done it in the first place. Just think when you get
married in the future, and you’re on your honeymoon,
you’re going to look back and say that you’ve already done
this. So it’s not going to be special.
Lacey told me she doesn’t regret it, but she feels
bad about it. Whatever. That’s another lie. She does
regret ity. God knows she does. If y’all really cared
about how God feels, y’all probably wouldn’t have goit
yourselves into this mistake. If you both wanted sex just
to get someone to love you, you’re both wrong. But you
shouldn’t have had sex to begin with. It’s like this:
Christmas trees are for Christmas only. Sex is for
Marriage Only.
I’m so blessed to have made it this far into my life
and I am still a virgin. There’s no better feeling to
know that I’ve got God by my side guiding me everyday of
my life. The only good I see out of this situation is
that I’m the only one left standing. We were created to
become one flesh with ONLY ONE PERSON. And so much fro
Angelz Inc. There’s no such thing. I’ve ripped the
posters off my wall, took the stickers off my car, and if
you want the car tag you got me for my birthday, I’ll be
more than happy to give it to you. Being that Angelz
Inc. has no meaning with just one person left in it.
When you commit sexual sin out of marriage, you
deface the picture of GOD’S covenant with HIS people wich
your future marriage was designed to portray.
About forgivness again. It’s not forgetting. People
who would like to forget all of their pain before they get
around to forgiving someone, usually find they can’t.
Forgivness is a choice, a decision of will. When I
forgive you and lacey, I’m letting you of my hook, but
you’re definitely not off God’s hook. Forgivness costs
you something. You choose to pay the price for the evil
you forgive. But you’ll live with the consequences
whether you want to or not.
I hope you know how much you two hurt God, your
parents, your friends, your BEST FRIENDS ect. Y’all have
hurt me worse than anyone has. Sex is an adult marriage
thing. You MUST be married to have sex. Y’all have
abused the meaning of sex.
You know Ashley Cuevas is Pregnant? I definitely
wouldn’t want you or Lacey being pregnant.
Oh, and caroline, if it sounds like I am being mean
and hateful, I’m sorry, but I lost you and Lacey as my
best friends. But what y’all have done, betrayed me, I
feel as if I have a right to be sounding mean. And
nothings fair.




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