Tommygirl6788

Life is but a dream...
2003-07-02 21:04:25 (UTC)

My JuStIn...

Who am I now?
Where do I belong?
Why does it hurt to feel?
When did I become so numb?
What happened?!?

"Sweet dreams are made of these, who had a mind to
disagree, travel the world and the seven seas, everybody's
lookin for something, some of them want to use you, some
of them want to get used by you, some of them want to
abuse you, some of them want to be abused..." (Manson)

Quoting a dumb as hell song, "It's a hard knock life"
Ain't that the truth? Wow, it's been a while since I've
last written. It's understandable. I really haven't had
time. I'm barely living at home anymore, so when could I
have time to do it? Ok, last time I wrote, I was in love
with Erik Young and seeing Tom Wilkinson, right? WOW so
much has changed!!! Ok, put the basics this way,... I
haven't seen Tommy in 6 months, I stopped sweatin' Erik
about 3 or 4 months ago, and now, I'm absolutely in love
with my Justin. I've never felt this way about anyone
before. And the funny part is that I'm spending the night
at his house again tonight and my mom knows this. I guess
I could start at the beginning with Justin....
Me and Felicia were partying with a few of her friends
from down in the park as usual, with me, her, and Amanda
going to their friends' houses. That was the night I met
my Justin.

Justin Kracker...

Anyway, at this time that I met him, Amanda was trying to
see him and get with him. And at the time, I was still
trying to see Erik Young, and trippin' off him. Anyway, I
got in the car with Felicia, and she picked up a bunch of
people and in the back was Brent, Justin, and another
person (I forget who it was) and me, Amanda, and Felicia
in the front. All I can remember is Justin kept
saying "You know damn right" in a weird voice and that's
how I remembered him from then on. When I met him, I
thought he was the cutest thing that I've seen in a long
time. It was off the hook...he was such a goofball...what
was he doing with Amanda?!? :) But anyway, we ended up
going to Dylan and Cody Pierce's house in Green and Justin
and Amanda sat outside the whole time (now I realize they
only did that 'cause Justin was sick and he kept throwing
up the whole night from being a little too fucked up.

It's understandable...I've been there more than a few
times...

Then, me and Erik went outside and sat with Justin and
Amanda, but Justin didn't really talk all that much to me
or Amanda, he was more chattin' it up with Erik, and me
and Amanda were talkin' normally. I never knew that the
whole time that I was out there with Erik, Justin was
staring at me.
Then, about two weeks later, me and Felicia went with Erik
to Justin's house 'cause his mom (Marianne) was out of
town and he wanted friends over. It was sweet kickin' it
at Justin's. I mean, I was there with Erik but that
didn't stop him from flirtin' with me. That was the first
time I ever stayed the night at Justin's house. Me and
Erik left early that morning to go back to Erik's house
and later, I had to go back to Justin's to pick up Felicia
who I left with Justin, Brent, and Dylan upstairs in
Justin's room.
We saw each other a couple times after that. Me and
Felicia went over there one night that we ended up going
to Nikki's house. I remembered Nikki from the first night
at Dave's house. By that time, I was clearly interested
in Justin, and didn't care what Amanda had to say 'cause
they weren't going out.

That was the first night Justin kissed me on the cheek...

After that, I saw him when we went out to the Park and
Felicia brought her boyfriend out with her to make Brent
jealous and I sat with Matt, Justin, and Brent while
Felicia took my car for something to the store. I wasn't
really tryin' all that much to talk to Justin, I was more
flirtin' with Brent and talkin to Matt. He let me try his
Keke tropical coconut rum and an Irish liquor that tasted
like chocolate malt. After that, the next time I went to
Justin's was the first night I stayed with Justin and Erik
wasn't there and we just kicked it. That was the first
night I slept with him. I don't know why I slept with him
so soon, but it seemed like a really good idea at the
time 'cause he was so damn cute! :) It was crazy.
That's when it all started with me and him....so many
memories between then and now...

Until next time,

~Life Love Eternity~

~!* Aims *!~




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