Mark Gittner

Gay Guy juggles his life struggles.
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2003-07-02 03:52:23 (UTC)

notes on my move and growth

I am here in S. Cola now. I got here friday at about 8pm.
Since then, I have seen ALMOST everyone I care about. It
has been wonderful coming home again. I am a little tired
from all the driving lately, but very content.

I made a bittersweet discovery about myself the other day.
I saw Jason. I've also realized I have grown a lot as a
person, and Jason not nearly enough in the year and a half
we've been broken up. I believe that we may never be right
for each other. But it also tells me that it is time to let
go of the one thing I haven't and to move on with my ENTIRE
life, not just parts of it. I believe this may be the
reason that I have been feeling so content the past couple
days. It finally gave me a sense of closure I've been
needing. I'm finally ready for a relationship without
holding back anymore. (sorry Ron. It was bad timing, but
you will still be in my heart.)

Let's see, I am still in Greenville, SC right now. Getting
ready for my move to Manning on Saturday. I think I have
gotten yet another sign that this move is right for me. I
went to get a new phone number today, and i was going to
get a 864 area code, so my friends and mom could call me
local, instead of long distance. However, there were no 864
numbers LEFT!!

So the guy says" do you know where Sumter is? Thats the
closest zip code where we can provide you with a new phone
#. It's an 803 area code there." I was thinking... No
way. This is a SIGN! I'm going to be near Columbia and
Sumter and this guy is offering me a number in that area,
when I didn't tell him I'm moving there!!! SO... I took
it.
BTW, It is amazing how much people have changed in a year.
Those who have shown positive growth practically shine. I
hope I look half as good inside as they do. And i think I
do, judging from thier reactions to me.

The old tricks from the club still look sickly, lost, and
sad. I was talking with my friend James about the fact that
so many people have just stagnated and gone nowhere with
thier lives. I like to think I'm going to avoid that hole,
and make something good of myself, and that I have taken
the right steps forward to doing that. Thankfully I have
some of the best friends in the world threatening to kick
my ass if I don't get it taken care of.

Well it is obvious that I am running out of things to say
right now. I'm meeting people. I'm making new friends.
Looking for a job and a place to live. That sums it up.

good night all.


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