Oh,The Insanity
2003-06-28 01:49:18 (UTC)

A Prolonged Exit

Sometimes, when you're afraid of something, you try really
hard to avoid the inevitable. And in the process of
avoiding that which cannot be avoided, you step in it and
before you know it, BOOM! You're drowning in inevitablility.
This recent epiphany has come about due, mainly, to the
inevitable fact that I'm being "kicked out" of my house.
If you've read any of my previous entries, you'd know this
is not, necessarily, a "BAD THING" but I'm stomping out
everything I've known for 19 years. The only constant is
change...right? I'm insecure about living alone...it's
obvious to anyone who looks hard enough, so no surprise
that I chose living with my Aunt and Uncle over the really
nice Studio I went and checked out, unbeknownst to Adam and
other "carers." Anyhow, I'm afraid to get comfortable in
one place, because once I get comfy, I get disatisfied.
It's happened countless times in the past...hell, 2 weeks
even. Allowing myself to accept my current situation or
status or whatever makes my brain kick into "OH MY GOD"
mode, during which, I overanalyze every pro/con of the
particular situation or whatever. Corinne said alot of
people think I only went out with Adam because I wanted him
to "fix me" and all of my problems. That's complete and
utter bullshit, as you all remember, I fought it until the
very end. In fact, that was a major contributor to the
downfall of "euphoria".
So...Advice from the broken hearted...NEVER EVER EVER
~EVER~ get comfortable...NEVER.

Peace, Love and Tear-Stained Marshmallows
Emily the flying frog