Ode to a psycho!HA!
2003-06-28 01:10:52 (UTC)


Sigh, I want to go home. I miss my bed, your hands your
arms, your shoulders. I miss my shower, your eyes, your
hair, your skin. I miss my house, your weight, your smell,
your neck. Sigh, I'm so tired of being here. I love my family, but
Jesus, enough is enough. I'm exahusted. I'm ready to be home so bad.
And as soon as I do come home I have to turn right back around and
I'm out the door again. I don't want to be in the car anymore!! It
makes my positively nauseous being in the car when my father is
smoking and I have to inhale disgusting amounts of cigarettee smoke
because he doesn't want to roll down the window, so he does about two
inches, and all the excess shit comes back to me...gross.I go to
sleep at night and I lay there for hours uncomfortable, and cold, and
wishing there was someone who'd come lay with me and rub my shoulders
and then all of a sudden I wake up in the middle of the night on my
couch or my fold out futon absolutely drenched to the bone it is so
sweltering. I miss my air conditioning, and my jersey knit sheets and
my million pillows and my boy laying behind me with his arms around
my shoulders watching tv in the dark. I have this image in my head of
his face, of his weight on me, my face was resitng on that space
between his collarbone and his neck, and I lowered my forehead, and
looked back and his eyes were closed and his hair had fallen gently
into his face, and there was his pressure, and I think he may have
bitten his lip, and I beared down, and layed back, and closed my
eyes. I think I could have stayed there forever. It was like time had
stopped just for me for that one moment. Sigh, I want to go home. I
want someone to come lay with me.