Laur10355

If I Could Say What I Wanna Say...
2003-06-27 21:10:15 (UTC)

i do now

i held my breath and i waited it out.

and it was years, or it was months, or maybe it was
minutes. it doesn't even matter. it was all the time in th
world, and it was perfect timing. i waited. and i wanted
things that, well, i didn't need. and i wished for things
that would've never made me happy. and i fell for things i
never should've believed in, and i walked away from the
things i should've stood for. but i waited all along.

and while i waited, i believed in the 'some day's and
the 'for a reason's. i believed it sometimes because i knew
it was true, sometimes because i wanted to think it was,
and sometimes because i had to or i didn't know what to do
with myself. and i built my faith on that fact that
sometimes things can happen when everything tells you they
can't.

now it feels like every day is its own lesson. i'm seeing
things i've only heard before now. the idea that you have
to take risks if you want to get anywhere doesn't live in
the back of my head anymore, rather i'm a testament to the
truth of that idea. and every day i see something new about
who i have to be or what i have to live by.

and i don't think there's a single statement that i can
find more true than simply some things are worth the wait.

every minute, i just feel like...well, i didn't want to
fall back on cliches, but my own words can only fall
short.. i just feel like the luckiest person in the world.
i feel like everyone else is missing out because they don't
have exactly what i have.

i've never had someone that always tells me i'm beautiful.
i've never seen someone look at me like they were just
crazy about me, let alone admit that they are. i've never
been one to be straight up and put it all out there and
mean every word that i say. i've never found it impossible,
no matter what comes our way, to walk away.

i don't want to go anywhere. i wouldn't trade it for
anything. and i feel like i must have done something right
along the way. i mean, i know i don't deserve him. there's
no way i could ever deserve someone so.. just.. perfect for
me in every way. and the way he sees me, i'll never
understand it. how he can know me, really know me, but it's
like he only sees the best. and it's the same way that i
look at him.

and i've always hated waiting. and i could never let myself
think that this was waiting for me. sometimes the thought
of how lucky i am just catches my breath, like this is so
amazing that i'm almost so scared to lose it that i don't
want it at all... some part of me just can't believe that
this isn't going to just go away like everything else i've
ever known. and its hard to believe, because its the last
thing it the world that i want, but even if it did...

it still would have been worth every single second of the
wait.




Ad: