Sexy Sady

Unseen Beauty, Untamed Lust
2003-06-27 04:09:46 (UTC)

Off Beat and Depressing

Okay this is far from what I usually write about, but I
needed to get this out. I had a weird dream a few days ago
and it's been bugging me ever since. In my dream I woke up
in it where I am today, my bedroom in my house in Vermont.
I went downstairs to get something to drink and when I got
down to the kitchen my dad was there. He said mornin' to me
and I just looked at him and started crying and I ran into
his arms and we hugged. In my dream he had never died. No
one close to me had. My best friend Peter was still alive
and well, so was my grandpa, and all my friends from
Oklahoma. And I still had all my friends here too. It was
like I woke up from the painful nightmare that is my life.
But I lost one very close friend. We had never met and I
still remembered him. It was driving me insane that he
didn't know me. Half of my dream was me just trying to find
him and getting him to remember me despite we had never
met. I finally got him to and we hugged and he realized
that everything had changed. So I brought him back to my
house and intorduced him to my dad and my mom. It was so
odd, but I didn't feel complete until I had gotten my
friend to remember me. But I've never felt complete like
that before. It was great. It was...I don't really know how
to describe it. I can't even begin to explain how
depressing it was to wake up and realize it was all just a
dream. I went to see my friend later that day, but. It hurt
to wake up and realize that the nightmare was real, but it
was good to see my friend. And wonderful to hold my father
one last time. It's stupid since he died when I was 4 and
I'm almost 20, but it still hurts that he's gone. I always
keep a poloroid picture of him tape to my wall and the head
of my bed. Right next to the dried red rose my friend gave
me when I was dating him. I always had this feeling like my
dad kinda gave his okay with him. My friend had a dream of
my dad giving him the okay, but still threatening him just
in case he ever hurt me. Which he did, but we've kept up
good connections ever since. But the weird thing about the
dream was that my friend had never seen a picture of my dad
and descibed him perfectly from his dream.




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