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My life is peachy.....I swear
2003-06-27 02:44:12 (UTC)

wow, catching up

okay, so i am not going to write everything, b/c we all
know that i write a lot, even though i say i don't. well
lately, actaully for like the last month, i just havn't
written. i havn't felt the need or desire to. the people
i talk to the most are the ones who read this and so i
felt no need to sit and type out everything that has
happened b/c everybody already knew everything. now if
you are someone who reads my diary a lot, then i am VERY
sorry for keeping you waiting so long.

but now i will talk about little subjects on my mind:

life - great, very very happy with it

b-day - was awesome. got to spend it with my friends and
my bro and i had a joint b-day party. mudd frisbee was
great. got the digital camera i wanted. hehe. alll good

ryan - my boyfriend. love him to death. there is soooo
much love for him that i give out. been going out for
over 4 months now. longest relationship now. and for
being a long distance relationship, it is sooo wonderful.
i couldn't ask God for anyone better. but he was here for
my b-day. he came down from may 16- may 26. then he came
down here june 14-june 17. that was awesome b/c that trip
was a surprise to me. he came down before he had to go to
maryland for a biking ministry tour. i am going to go see
him july 12-13 in michigan when he is on his second tour.
then he bought me a ticket so i can go meet his parents in
minnesota from july 30- august 11. no problem with that.
i am so excited about going. i can't wait till i get to
meet his family. that will be wonderful.

megan rainville - ha. she has changed so much. i feel
like i don't even know her. she , since she was raised
VERY strictly, broke out her year at college. she drinks
a lot, but definlty not as much as linda. ha, that is
another story. but, she works with me at atlantis and its
like sitting there during break with one of the new
guards. it is weird. but i will probably be talking with
her soon. that way it doesn't stay this way all through
summer.

linda - don't talk with her anymore really. alcoholic
whore.

jamie - we had some rough edges but things are working out
great now. we are going on vacation soon and that is
going to be awesome. we are going to santa clause again
like we did last year and it will be so fun. but first
our drama group is going to rockford to perform a new
skit. that will be awesome. can't wait. its funny,
jamie is becoming, or more of, has become my twin sister
more that megan ever has. ha. funny. but i love it.
its funny, but i know we have talked about our brides maid
and the maid of honor, and we always talked about how i
would have to make my sister my maid of honor so i don't
piss anybody off, hehe. well, i know where its going to
now.

drama - oh my gosh. let me tell you how far we have
gotten. we are getting booked so many places. we are
loved, we are actually going on tour this fall. we are
leaving in october and coming back for x-mas and then
leaving right after that and coming back in april. it is
going to be fun. are a maybe going to LA in august after
i get back from minnesota. wow. i can't believe how far
God has gotten us. we are all praying and hoping that
things go well. we are all putting our faith in it. now
we jsut need two more people before we go on tour, and
quite a bit of money. we need to buy a van and a laptop
and we are good. but we need one more guy and one more
girl. we had one girl that we would like. but with the
situation she is in now, that might not happen. so maybe
we can have this other girl that i know we will all get
along with fine on the road. yeah, i don't want to be mad
at people the whole time on the road. taht will suck.
but we are still looking for a guy. we have one giuy from
rockford but he said that if his parents didn't want him
to go then he would stay home. so yeah.

work - i love atlantis. made 6 saves so far. awesome. i
love my job. hehe. going good so far.

missing people - well as you know i lost 2 different
roberts last year. i love my best friend then my cousin.
well jsut the other night i was listening to a CD i made
for ryan with a bunch of lovey dovey songs on it, and the
song "how do i live" by trisha yearwood came on. and i
was reading some files trying to clean out my folder, and
i found this one and it said..

When I must leave you for a little while
Please do not grieve and shed wild tears
And hug your sorrow to you through the years
But start out bravely with a gallant smile;

Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer
And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near;
And never, never be afraid to die,
For I am waiting for you in the sky!

after i read that i burst out in tears. i missed my
friends sooo much. i wanted them back so bad but i knew
that i can't have them. i know that they are here in
spirit but it is still hard to cope with. been dealing
with that

my inner self - well i have been having this fight with
myself for a while now. i want to change and not really
grow up, but jsut to change some things about how i handle
situations. i feel like i get walked on a lot. i don't
say things that i should b/c i hate fights and i hate that
b/c it may not even be my problem but i sit there and
appoligize so much just so things will go back to normal.
i have been this way since i can remember and I HATE IT.
so i am going to work on that, for ever how long it will
take me

prayer/GOD/ my faith - well i can that i have gotten in
touch with my faith ever since ri started. i mean, even
with the events it has broughten me closer with the big
man. and now, he introduced me with ryan and whatever he
has planned for us, right now, HE planned for us to be
with each other. it wonderful. but i am the WORST at
praying. and that bugs me. i mean, i can't pray. it is
sooo hard for me. and people say, its just whatever you
can get out is for prayer. but its weird. i can't just
sit/lay/kneel and pray. i have the shortest attention
span. i hate that. i want to become more in tune with
praying. but when i am with a group i do wonderful. so
its like calling up my friends "hey i feel like praying,
so come on over" hehe. but yeah

um... let me see. i think that is all i am gong to cover
right now. okay. you all have a great life. i will talk
to you later.

God Bless

Micro




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