Montana bound
2003-06-26 07:30:56 (UTC)

Someone I can touch

Well, I really don't have any inspiration to write at
the moment, nor anything which is setting me off on this
topic, I simply feel like ranting, so that's what I'm
going to do.
I know I've said that until I get out of Utah I'm just
going to give up on women as a whole, but my conviction
there is wavering. I'd really like to do it, but I'd also
really like to try my hand with Allison. If nothing else,
I suppose I can settle with fooling around with Jessica
every once in a while. I'm sure it will be easier to find
girls once I have a job and car, as well, but that's
beside the point.
Anyway, the simple fact of the matter is I feel a need
for someone in my life. Someone I can tell everything to,
someone I can turn to in times of joy or happiness and
receive support. Someone who will be a part of my life,
and allow me to be a part of theirs.
I know, there's a very simple answer that meets all of
these requirements. My response, I tried God once
before. Now I have a new stipulation to add to that
list. Someone I can TOUCH.
God's love is all well and good, but a man can only go
on feelings for so long. Eventually, he craves the
physical touch of a woman, which is what leads most men to
prostitutes, strip clubs, etc. God's love may be "all
encompassing," but try telling that to my nerve endings.
Inner peace nothing, I'm looking for a REAL person,
someone I can see, hear, and touch; then tell others about
it without it leading to doubt in my sanity. After
all, "when you talk to God, it's prayer. When God talks
to you, it's schizophrenia."
I'm sick and tired of hearing about the love and
caring of a fictitious being. It's a nice thought, I'll
admit that, but I'm not looking for thoughts. I'm looking
for a material person upon whose existence everyone can
agree; to know, to hold, and, hopefully, to love.