BeautyFiend

The void
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2003-06-25 22:11:28 (UTC)

first entry in ages

Current music: opeth-some random song i dont know the name
of! :/

hey! well i read through all of my previous entries, what a
fucking dickhead i was! "oohh i love spike" " oohh maz
loves me..woe is me" get over it! my my my i think iv'e
changed! so yeah, new boyfriend, one i actually SEE now!
Terence, not gonna bother explaining i'll just say " 6ft3"
hungariun black metaller" he's great, looks after me (lets
face it i need looking after!)
so theres a little whore on aol (nikki) that iv'e met and
has been in my house ::shudder:: who's hacking my computer.
am gonna shove a fist full of fucking RAZORBLADES in that
girls mouth the next time i see her! AND i have the backing
of ALL my friends. we'll kick her vertically challenged ass!
well, stress from college already and only been back two
weeks!coursework left, right and centre! u'd think we'd
just be dossing in lessons or something but nooooooo it's
all work work FUCKIN work!
i think i'll sort out my spelling and shit and then send
Tel a link to this diary. suppose it wud be gud for him to
know whats going on in my screwed up little head.
i can't cope with this self harm thing anymore, EVERYONE is
doing it. and it breaks my heart! even people i don't know,
if i see someone with scars or cuts on their arms i start
shaking. it triggers me! in the middle of fucking college
sometimes and i never know what to do! most of the time i
just run into the loo and dig my nails into the top of my
arm (not that hard) and then im usually ok. i think i need
medication :/
changing the subject i'm getting a PVC nurses uniform soon!
woohoo! can't wait!and to go with it i'm going to buy some
DM's and some PVC hotpants and some fishnets and go to
COLLEGE like that one day! lol! ooohh the
attention ::shudders once again::
i got a new computer! it's looovveelllyyy! all fast and new!
i'm in love! with my computer! lol!
iv'e only been with Tel for about two months but i love him
already. and no it aint like before, none of that internet
loving ppl u can't see shit. this is real.i love being with
him, he's the only person that understands half of the
stuff i 'go through'. he's always there when i need him.
makes me smile even when i aint with him. everyone
say "awwwwwwwww" haha!
right it's getting late, going now, ta ta!


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