Stevathediva

Steva's Life
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2003-06-24 15:18:45 (UTC)

Well another day goes by

Well today is another day, I leave yesterday behind... I
know its not easy, but i do, Becuase what happened between
my mother and i wasent good, Everyone that i've mentioned
any part of this to, agree's with me that she should sit
down and listen to what i have to say. Like, I'm upset at
my mother for taking the actions that she did, She actually
pretty much said that she was going to dis-own me if i kept
up doing this, and i'm like all i'm trying to do is Voice
my opinion, and its a free contry and i think that i should
be able to do at least that much. But she doesent want to
hear it so, i'm just not going to voice my opinion anymore,
I guess that i should also take my care away from her as
well. She's having minior surgery laster this summer and i
was going to go up and help her but if she doesent want my
care and help then maybe i shouldn't be there for her
surgery. Then in November they're getting married... i
said i was going to be there... but i don't think i will
becuase she doesent want me there. I mean this is what i
feel that she's doing... weather its true or not... she
should really make it clearer...

Like i mean i don't have the greatest life, I mean its
slowly forming... at least mine is... unlike someone else
that we're not going to mention. name starts with a J and
ends with an F, I'm sorry ot say that but when you call
your self busy with fucking your boyfriend and work... and
not leaving any time for your friends or family or what
ever.. that's kind of sad... You know i'm very busy with
Kayden Band work, Dog sitting, i just took on somthing with
deborah that's going to be alot, and then trips to Nh and
what not.

I was just thinking about this, how am i going to get to
the house from concord... if my mom's pissed off at my i
doubt that she'd want to come pick me up... But who know's
maybe this will blow over.

I just talked to my mother and i wanted to find out what
Deborah said to my mother and it was pretty much everything
that i said and she said she was very supportive of me and
what not... then i asked mom how i would be getting from
concord to the house and she said that she would pick me
up. and that makes me a little happyer....

I just had a great conversation with My friend Amy from
Maryland :-) yey maryland! this is my story:

"I love the fact that My "best friend" jeff isin't even
supportive of me being really upet and pretty much willing
to take my own life, I truly think that's just great, he'll
sleep through anything, and when i ask him for support he
goes off and fucks his boyfriend. Or he's to busy. or what
ever... i just love that. I really really do... i mean the
fact that we've been friends for 15 years really doesent
seem to matter to him, I sadly so no longer call him a best
friend becuase there's no point. I account my friend jane
in NH as my one and only "BEST" friend I have lots of
friends and your a really good one! "

Amy: well, i'm sorry he is being a dipshit

Thank you Amy for being here for me in this time of need :-
) it means alot to me :-* ::Kisses::

And thank you JaNe! Lindsey, Karissa, and Deborah for being
here for me in my needs of pain, you have always been here
for me and that means alot to me... weather i've told you
enough or not.

~~Concrete Angel~~

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

That's a little bit of how i'm feeling right now... so i'm
going to go for breakfast becuase i'm hungery... but have a
nice day... i may be back again today who know's.
~~Steva~~


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