Wo ist Amanda?
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2003-06-23 14:34:01 (UTC)

Just when you think you're losing it....

I've been sad lately. Except, when I read my email, I had
4 comments on my journal. Thank you for reading and having
a thought! I appreciate it.
A lot of things are falling apart. I recently lost a
friend, Rafael, in a car accident. My sister moved to
Georgia (across the country). My brother moved to
Wisconsin with his newborn and girlfriend. My mom and step-
dad got divorced. My mom filed for bankruptcy, so money is
scarce. I lost my best friend of 12 years. She said we
just drifted could that happen? Now I'm going
to Florida to visit my friend. We used to be friends two
years ago when she lived in California...but I'm so afraid
that now she will be different and I'll feel akward there.
I'm afraid I'm clinging to a closness we used to have, that
may be gone now. And, recently, I spent a lot of time with
my ex's mom, we are good friends. She informed me that
Erick (my ex)is planning on dumping his current g/f. He
has been the only real man I've ever been deeply in love
with...and when we broke up, I went into this year-long
depression that feels like it's returning now. I guess
that, even though it was hard to know he was with another
girl, it was a sort of closure. And now, I'm afraid I'll
get those desires to call him, email him, want him......
AAAAAHHHHHHHH! When, really, I need to just forget him!
Why is it so hard to move on, especially when I actually
WANT to move on???? I don't like feeling like this, so
it's not intentional.....
On a lighter note, I have finally paid all my IOU's! I've
been working a lot and finally paid everyone back....I
think they were beginning to not believe that I'd ever pay
them back!!! Well, if anyone has seen THE HULK, would ya
mind giving a short review? I love the idea of a Hulk
movie, but you never know the corniness some movie makers
are capable of!!! Well, I'm off to work...much love to
those who read!