2003-06-23 04:35:15 (UTC)


i dont know why i write in this. it sends me reminders once
a week, that i signed up for when in italy. i get freaked
out whenever a stranger sends me something insinuating that
they have read it. in italy i didnt tell any of my roomates
i was writing this and once here ive continued to write in
here sometimes and didnt tell my friends. i feel like no one
reads this, there is the oppurtunity to, as its kinda all
public, but different from my journal cause that no one will
read and diffferent from emails cause that a particular
person will read, and i think maybe i use this as practice
of being published. i am writing to both myself and an gooey
gray cloud.
i am reading this article on the aol welcome page about
this thing scientists are saying, that the earth will get
hit my an asteroid and life will be obliterated and we
should spend more money learning how to do what they did in
Armeggedon. i dont know i saw the headline and i was like
ooooothats cool i hope that happens TOMORROW. what a way to go.

so i got my hole in the ground, thats deep and dark and
there is a nice little dark abyss down there, and i feel
like maybe i am hanging onto the walls. i feel like ive been
here before back in those teen years and i feel tired
andlike my fingernails are about to crack off.
like i dont understand anything like im not looking at
anything resonably like i am getting farther and farther
away from who i am/want to be. the whole world is.