xiaobaibai

penny for your thoughts
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2003-06-22 06:50:29 (UTC)

My 5 cents worth

They don't call it stepping into love or walking into love.
Its called falling in love because you don't contemplate or
consider or even predetermine whether you are going to fall
or not. When you fall, you just fall. No warnings, no
signals, just pure happenings of a circumstance.

Perhaps thats why people are so afraid of love. Because it
is totally beyond any of our controls. Who can decide how
much you're going to miss a person today, or when you are
going to wish to hear a loved one's voice. And above all
other fears, we cannot control the emotions or the love of
the person that we love. Hurt, pain and betrayal are all
packaged with love, resultant of the fear of love
sometimes. I may love him, but does he love me? Will he
treasure me and hold me in my times of need? Will he be the
one who will paint my world a little brighter with his
smiles and his kiss?

I admit it, I'm afraid of love too. Holding back emotions
becomes a way of relationships for me. Thinking back on all
the tears and tissue papers i have wasted, and all the
trees i could have saved as well. It just doesn't seem
worth it, so it seems so much better to not feel as
intensely as i want. But yet, i remember when i DID give my
heart full rein to love, i was truly happy. Waking up every
morning and the day always seemed to be full of promise.
I'd smile more, laugh more, sing more. My love for him made
me a better person and his love for me made me stronger
too. Security can work WONDERS in a girl's life I'd say.

Love can be frightening, with all its intensity and madness
involved. But, it is beautiful all the same. We were made
to love and be loved, perhaps thats why we were made to be
incomplete and forever searching for something to make us
whole. Some try to find it with work, others with money,
some with hobbies and some even with dreams. And to ask
those who are reaching the last leg of their walk in life
if they have found what they were searching for, wonder
what they would say.

There is no protection from the pain of losing love. We
can't predict the future, so why not let the future take
care of itself, and treasure what we have in front of us,
the chance and opportunity to love and be loved. Imagine,
if this was your chance of a lifetime, you're only going to
let it slip away because of something that may not even
happen at all. Fear is probably the biggest obstacle to
love. Dare to love.


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