2003-06-21 22:01:13 (UTC)


I am denying my past, I am immersed in an imaginary future.
I'm pushing people out of my space.
My aim is to feel no fear towards myself or others.

Pacing back and forth.
And then there's jumping up and down on my bed.
And playing dress-up.
And taking 2 hour baths in the dark.

A couple days ago I had a deep conversation with my rubber
ducky in the bath tub. As I stared into his full yellow
face, rubber-smooth, slowly drifting towards me in the
water, he seemed to posess his own spirit and personality. I
began in a soft whiney voice to tell him some of the things
I've been thinking about lately. And he listened with an
uncritical openness like no real person ever could.