chantelmarilyn

shattered image
2003-06-20 17:34:28 (UTC)

babies got blue skies up ahead

oh oh oh the sweetest thing.

Yesterday--

I didnt really do anything

anything of much importance.

Randy told his dad

that I slit my wrists...

and his dad said

"She's crazy and Im glad you arent going out w/ her"

God,

him telling his dad that I do that,

hurts more

than me having my friends

ask about it.

:'(

But,

as soon as randy said

"Great now your mad at me. I know how you always feel,
hated, now. I want to go kill myself"

and signed offline,

I so desperately wanted to call..

and say,

:"Look randy,

this isnt right"

but I couldnt.

I cant do stuff like that.

But he just got online

so,

Im talking to him about it

:-/


My belly button hurts, but I dont think it's infected

or anything...

my body is just adjusting I guess.

I have to drop off my Surf Coaster application today

and I told heather Id take the job to watch her kids

this summer...

even though shes from the church

and so

I know it will feel extremely weird.

But I guess Ill have to deal w/ that.


Yesterday,

I watched the BEST movie.

Yes I cried,

but it really changed my outlook on things.

It makes me want to write about

my mom

and stuff...

maybe I will

but I dont know.

It...made me think more positive

which is great.

I havent slit since last sunday

which is a great advancement in my life.

Even though it's all scaring now.

:-/

O well,

marks of growth I guess.

I still have to write about

Randy

Corey

and now I guess

my mother...

so those will be my next few entries.


Stefan leaves today

around 5

for his dads

for the whole

entire

summer.

If he doesnt call while he's there

I might just go crazy.

I really want to see him

before he goes.

But we'll see.

*sigh*

My gram wwont buy the new harry potter book for me :'(

But,

I have to read

THE ILIAD

and

WEST SIDE STORY

as it is...

so I guess I could just

use that as

...

and incentive or something.

I really feel like I wanna

go out

and go swimming

or soemthing...

but I hate going alone.

:-/

randy says he misses me....

RandyPenguin666: i just cant get over the fact that i lost u

which is weird

cause he also says I could never have him back

which leads me to believe

maybe he doenst know what he wants...

I dont know.

I think im done...

I think im changing...

better.




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