Meg5han

The Archives
2003-06-17 22:36:58 (UTC)

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

6:28PM- How rich and dark the world would be if we could
see into the lives of all the wives and daughters we call
strangers passing us by...

[67]

Luquidjac (11:17:31 PM): i don't know... because i have no
balls ?

Oh, I woke up in hell today
I woke up depressed and drained
But that's ok cause
I promised not to hurt you again
Apparently I'm to blame
But apparently I've been framed

Rough day. Very rough. Babysat for almost 12 straight
hours. Woke up at 6AM, after a very small (and not very
fulfilling) amount of sleep. Showered, went to the
Kramer's. Made the girls breakfast, Kashi Krunch and
pancakes. Got them dressed, went outside, then immediatly
came back inside to change because it was freezing. Played
for a little, then came in to play Life and fake Life. Then
played waitress while having our customary pretzels and
teddy grahams snack. Went to the green and yellow parks for
awhile, played with Bailey and Corrine (NOT the one and
only, this one is a year and a half old...). Went back,
watched some Shrek, then left to go babysit Emily when Mr.
came home. Spent another 5 hours there, playing Barbies,
watching Cinderella II, building card towers, playing Hot
Potato, jumping on the trampoline with Caesar, then Italian
grey hound, bringing in the laundry, reading some books,
and coloring. Got $30, which was nice. But it hit me all at
once when I got home that I've got the dreaded "Fifth's
disease" from the girls. Yeah. I'm definitely sick. So
that, and the rain, are keeping me from going to the
Catholic fair tonight. Maybe going tomorrow, since Tarrah
and Military will be here. So instead I'm gonna read (only
three left!), "play with my rack", and possibly build the
foundation of the dollhouse if it doesn't get too late. The
walk to the park and the trampoline jumping count as my
running today, since I can barely stand the thought of
walking up the stairs. Sigh. I'm such a baby.

=========================================================
I'd be lying if I said I was completely unscathed
I might be proving you right with my silence or my
retaliation
Would I be letting you win in my non reaction?
How would I explain?
How would I explain this to my children if I had them?

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't afford to be misread one more time

Would I be whining if I said I needed a hug?
Would you feel slighted if I said your love's not enough?
How can I complain?
How can I complain when I'm the one who reaches for it?

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I cannot walk without my crutches

Because I can't not
Because I can't not
Because I can't help wonder why you ask me

To all the unheard wisdom in the schoolyard
You think you're the right ones
You think you're the charmed ones, I'm sure
How can you go on with such conviction?
And who do you think you are, why do you question me?

Because we can't not
Because we can't not
Because we can't help laugh at underestimations

Because we can't not
Because we can't not
Because we can't afford to be misled one more time

Because we can't not
Because we can't not
Because we cannot help without your willingness

Why do you affect me? Why do you affect me still?
Why do you hinder me? Why do you hinder me still?
Why do you unnerve me? Why do you unnerve me still?
Why do you trigger me? Why do you trigger me still?
=========================================================

9:37PM- I know he's blood, but you can still turn him away. You don't
owe him anything.

Never read, lost the rack by 5 points, drank some tea for my throat,
then went to Walmart where we were able to TEAR up the list by
acquiring the following: new lotion/shower gel for the beach,
tropical beach scent (plus bonus loofah), anti-bacterial gel for
those disgusting Kmart shoppers' germs, jolly ranchers for my throat,
a donut, scone ingrediants, and last, but certainly not least...the
new wonder drug: Nyquil, soon to replace Tylenol PM once and for all.
Taken like a shot, and tasting like the smell of the inside of my
grandmother's purse, it's the drug you love to hate, but just can't
get enough of. So I took my shot and washed the taste a way with some
Etter remedy (salt water gargleing) and a jolly rancher. Playing
minesweeper until the drugs kick in, skipping running/round two rack-
o/dollhouse foundation building in favor of early bed to prepare for
tomorrow's guests. Ah, it's a beautiful life (da da daaaa da).

*And of course I cried, but that didn’t mean very much. My tears
weren’t hard currency in those days. Devalued by overproduction. I
wouldn’t give too much weight to my tears. Still, but...*

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

#178: I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed
out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years,
because I was thinking about doing that anyway.




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