The confusing epic of muh life
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2003-06-17 08:51:53 (UTC)

ok i dk wen the last time i..

ok i dk wen the last time i wrote was well everything got
screwed wen sam came home and everythingchanged w.e ne wayz
me and him r over or w/e we all went to the movies friday
and sam got her lil revenge she kissed him and led him on
which was mean cus they r both muh frineds i told her not 2
but w.e but then a few days later they r going out and i
screwed things up between the 2 of um on accident b cuz
brittany was telling me how he lied 2 melissa saying that
he wasnt goin out w/ sam and shit so yea adn ne ways he
yelled at me then told me never to talk 2 him again then
him and britt call me i told sam 2 sleep on things then
discuss it in the morning wen things werent so crazed and i
told him the same well he yelled on then fone for a good 15
minutes then we started tqlking bout oyur nites and stuff
and we were cool becuz as much as he says he doesnt and hes
doesnt want 2 he does like me if not as a gf like then a
friend like... idk i offer sum sort of comfort idk ima tri
2 fix things 4 them b cuz i luv um both idk if im over him
but im reali into sean rite now im trying not 2 be but hes
muh sparkly wut am i gunna do? lol hes so great he was
telling me how he c 's me eyelessly its amazing he saved me
last nite wen i got crazy no 1 would listen to muh speech
about how im not barbie so i started cussinga nd it freaked
every1 out but he understood and he understood the nothing
that was eating me on the inside it was so wonderful i felt
connected uhhh it was great ne ways 2 nite was funi aaron
hit the wall and made a fatty hole lol he was dancing w/
the passion that no 1 had lol it was hillarious we all
heard it in the bac and jumped up to c wut happened lol we
took home bitchy shannon she freaked 2 nite and was like
talking about how we should do things full out even if we
hit sum1 i was like um ok.. shes reali teaching us
morals... lol ne ways 2 nite was crazy as usual and me
hilary sam and nicole took a 15 minute walk and talked
about image and the nothingness it was great we r gunna
have asleepover within the next 2 weeks or so i mite go to
north carolina w/ caroline im so excited i hope i do its
gunna be alot but ill manage lol ne ways ill post me and
ivans convos next but idk im just still kinda lost its like
the nothingness is there but it stoped eating 4 a while idk
i want sean 2 be here rite now i need to kno im not
alone... i wish i woulda saved that convo itwas so great i
love that kid so much man o man and i seriously was IN love
w/ ivan but its gunna be ok i keep telling every1 that and
i think its b cuz i reali want sum1 2 say it bac sumtimes i
wonder if it will be but as long as i have peple like sean
adn emma around i kno ill be ok its crazy idk lol mom just
came in its around 130 and shes like no more fone shes like
wut r u doing and im like typing in the diary lol its crazy
shes as muh of an insomniac as i am haha i seriously hope
ivan is gunna be ok 2 nite i get worried bout him and his
dad it scares me b cuz i kno i have no control over it
uhhhg idk its weird i dk y i care o much jen and hillary r
fighting again lol she thought we were attacking her belifs
earlier we were just stating thatall religion is the same b
cuz they r all trying to get the same points across its
just the stories that r told they all have common themes
idk it was pretti funni she flipped wen i started cussing
its b cuz she just got bac frum her brainwashing.. i mean
church camp lolne ways idk the sparks live within FUCK FUCK
TIMES i get frustrated wen people dont take me seriously b
cuz normally they dont although ur still w/ me ive been
alone all along... man o man the sparks make that sentence
untrue the ony problem w/ me and seans r that im afraid of
a relationship w/ him so i kno hes not the 1 and only
sparkly ima enter muh convo w/ keli 2