Nick's Journal
2003-06-16 14:30:24 (UTC)

Got them spider in my room blues

holy fuck, there is the biggest god damn spider looking at
me right now. i hope it's not poisonous, but then again
maybe i should worry about my rabid public speaking
teacher first. holy shit it's moving. one sec, it's
about to be one dead arachnid. nawh, i can't, he's just
maintaining just like me.
so i can pinpoint someone's nervousness by their fidgeting
their face-touching, their swaying, their stuttering, but
yet i can't concede the fact that it is the cause of my
muttering. the same reason that we sing louder during the
part in our favorite song where we're not quite sure of
the words, the same reason i feel what i feel right now
about that spider.
maybe he'll take care of all the fucking flies in our
apartment, or atleast my room.
i now understand a lot about the retarded. i understand
why some people freak out around them and just want them
gone, and why others take their time with them. it just
comes down to the fact that some aren't afraid to "fail",
to put in the effort in the most disheartening situations,
just to catch the flicker of a smile on some kid's face
that can't even lift his hand. those are the people that
don't mind waiting for someone to type their thoughts on a
computer because they can't express themselves verbally.
patience is a virtue that has many different exams.
teaching, caring, supervising, loving.
listening to politicians.
listening to somebody else's favorite song.
politely listening to that idiot whitey who thinks he can
sing "thug love".....not laughing.....too hard.