gcbaby4life420

my life
2003-06-15 20:39:44 (UTC)

woah, since then...

k well since my last entry, which was 2 nights ago. kinda
alot has happened but not really.

that night bedo never said another word to me, he just
signed off. and i was PISSED. and incredibly emotional.

the next day at about 12:15, he calls my cell at work, i
was with a customer so i couldnt answer it so i called it
back about 10 minutes later. it wasnt his number but i
knew it was him, i called and hes like
"hello?" and im like "who is this?" hes like "bedo" i was
like "oh...hi" hes like "whats up?" im like "nothing what
about u" ((i was talking soo mean and bitchy to him)) hes
like "nothing, sorry about last night" and i was
like "yeah"
i didnt even say 'thats ok' or anything, just sat there.
lol.
hes like "are u mad at me" i was like "i dont know, should
i be?" hes like "no...well i dunno"
i was like "um well k u were such an asshole to me last
night" hes like "i know, im so sorry, im really sorry"

he kept apologizing and telling me how incredibly sorry he
was,and u kno wat? i believe him. i kno hes sorry, REALLY
sorry, im still just really confused.

so then we started talking about alot of stuff, i told him
that before we can ever even think about going out, he
needs to sit down with me and explain everything. he said
he would.
we talked abuot wetehr i could trust him or not, and
wether he could trust me.

he said i could trust him. and i told him that if he says
i really can, then i will.
he told me that that night we would get together and he
would explain everything to me.

so that night we tried really hard to get together and it
was SOOOO CLOSE to working out. my mom even said yes, and
his parents were gunna be home and everything.
but then kendra couldnt, cuz she already had plans, and i
didnt know anyone else who would want to come with or who
i would want with.
i told him i couldnt and he begged me to try harder. so i
asked my mom if i could go alone, of course she said no.
then i BEGGED my sister to come with me, cuz my mom said
if she came then i could go.
but of course my sister wouldnt. so it was gay. i couldnt
go. o well
he called about 1/2 hr later and we talked for like 2
hours just about everything.
i actually like talking to him alot.

he always tells me that im beautiful, and that he would
like nothing more then to go out with me cuz then i would
be "his" ((or he said "mine")) lol
he always tells me that he loves me, then asks if i love
him.
then we talk about how we love each other but we arent "IN
love" with each other.
then he asks when ill go out with him ,or when ill marry
him. he talks about getting a tatoo that says "i love
Breyan" on it so then we would be together forever.
he says if he hadnt met me, his life would be hell.
and i like him soooooooooooooooo much. but im still so
worried.

and i have to have him explain everythign thats going on,
before i even THINK about going out with him. cuz i need
to know. before i get too involved.

so tonite his parents sai dhe could do whatever he wants
and im going to have him, Riggz, kendra and MAYBE alexis
or Brianna over to my house and we are all gunna chill.

i asked my mom earlier, she said maybe. then she said no.
now shes sayin Maybe again. so if she doesnt let me do it
here, we are gunna go to Kendras. cuz i want to do
something with them soooooo bad!!!
hopefully my house will work cuz it would be fun, if we
got bored we could watch a DVD or somwething. i dunno.
we'll have fun.

but i gotta call him back now, or kendra or some-one cuz
tonite better work out!!!


((PS: brittany called me last night...she made out with
chris! haha thats a first time EVER kissing anyone for
her. i was SOOO frickin shocked cuz she yells at me every
time i do it, lol o well. good for her!))




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