Bast

Idiocy
2003-06-13 22:47:55 (UTC)

Blah

Yeah I'm far from being the happiest of people today.
Funny thing is usually by now I would either be emotionless
or in a corner somewhere depressed. NOw I still want to be
in that corner but I am in quite good spirits... I bet even
my crying would seem happy. My medication is working too
well. So anyways I am still in PA. I promised everyone I
would givie it a chance. I haven't heard back yet from
megan or any of them. I hope they write me back soon.
That is one thing that has me depressed. I miss their e-
mails. Despite bing in good spirits I am not happy. I am
far from happy and I have come to a conclusion. I am going
back on the strict diet I was on before when I was
training. I will train all of muscles again to the best of
my abilities and as soon as I find a way to ride horses
again I will be at peace. I miss my horses. They are in
NH. At least 300 bucks a week. I miss it. I made money
I got to ride.... I felt good about myself. Now I just
feel shitty and the shitty feeling just gets worse. I am
not even hungry. That is sad. Whatever. Feeling are bad,
if I have feelings I am nothing but a baby... people want
to spare my feelings, thats nice thankyou for telling me
that I would prefer the truth though, now I will just
wonder about everything that has ever been said to me.
Lovely. Bye




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